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Can't sleep worried about son.

(50 Posts)
Falconbird Sun 06-Sep-15 05:50:48

My son had an operation for bowel cancer last year and had to have a stoma bag. They operated on Friday and the bag was removed much to his and everyone's relief. However, his bowels aren't working yet (at least they weren't yesterday at about 10pm.) Does anyone have experience of this and know how long it takes before everything is back in working order.

absent Sun 06-Sep-15 06:18:03

Falconbird I never had to have a stoma bag although I had quite a chunk of bowel removed – they just managed to drag the ends together. As you cannot eat on the day of surgery, probably don't want to the following day and, in any case, may not yet be allowed solids by the surgeon, I wouldn't worry. (I think morphine tends to cause constipation so if he's on a morphine drip, that would be something of an inhibitor to normal bowel movement as well.) His body needs quite a bit of time to get over the trauma of surgery and get back into the normal swing of things. I don't think you should be anxious now – or, at least, not more than a mum can help being anxious – but if you are, try to have a word with the surgeon or, failing that, the senior nurse on the ward. I realise that this is not likely to be possible on a Sunday but do be assured that the clinical staff will be monitoring his recovery very careful and will be alert to anything that doesn't seem right. I wish your son a quick and complete recovery. I wish you a peaceful night.

absent Sun 06-Sep-15 06:20:38

Sorry, I never finished my first thought which was that, although I have lost about half my "tubing", I have never looked back once I was back on my feet and out of hospital following the surgery and have had no after-shocks in 18 years!

janeainsworth Sun 06-Sep-15 07:35:31

What absent said, Falconbird.
I think it's quite usual for the bowel to not function for several days after surgery.
Of course you're worried - that's what mothers do - but they wouldn't have reversed the storms if they didn't think it was the right time and thing to do.
I hope your DS is soon better. flowers

janeainsworth Sun 06-Sep-15 07:36:24

Storms!!! Stoma.

annsixty Sun 06-Sep-15 07:47:10

My friend had a stoma reversed about 18 months ago and it was several days before her bowel started working. She knew she would be in hospital until it did and we had a text system going when I would text "anything yet?" Or she would send "nothing yet" so don't worry (silly me!) it is normal. I think she was in hospital for about a week.

vegasmags Sun 06-Sep-15 07:56:59

No experience of this type of op, but I really feel for you in your worry about your son and glad that other GNetters have been able to offer you reassurance. Hope the situation is soon resolved flowers

nannieroz111 Sun 06-Sep-15 08:02:31

falconbird flowers flowers

Indinana Sun 06-Sep-15 08:03:32

Vegasmags has said it for me. I so understand your worry, it is what we mums do best. As I tell my DC, it is part of the JD. I'm sure you will hear good news from your son in the next few days flowers

cornergran Sun 06-Sep-15 08:13:47

A friend had the same surgery. Took a few days so agree totally with others about the practicalities Falconbird. Isn't it hard for Mums though? I say the same to mine as Indinana. We never stop. Vital part of the JD. Feel for you. Hope you can get some reassurance today and a better sleep tonight. flowers

Grannyknot Sun 06-Sep-15 08:14:50

falcon flowers

I don't have experience of this but absent has replied so clearly that it makes perfect sense. And others have "spoken human" too. smile

Sometimes GN is just brilliant.

Falconbird Sun 06-Sep-15 08:35:31

Oh thanks Grans.

I can't ring the ward because when my son had the first operation I rang and unfortunately my Dil was cross about it because she thought she should be the first one to ring (agree in a way). My son doesn't want visitors at the moment because he may need to "leave in a hurry."

I'm glued to my emails and texts today.

I've been sending the "anything yet" e mails to my son but it's difficult balance between being concerned and being over anxious.

The thought that they wouldn't have done the surgery if they hadn't been confident that it would work is keeping me going.

My son is in his early forties and has two young children so all his hopes are pinned on this being a big success so he can lead a more normal life with them.

The brilliant news is that he is cancer free.

annsixty Sun 06-Sep-15 08:37:27

To get down to the "nitty gritty" my friend was told she would " pass wind " first.

Sewsilver Sun 06-Sep-15 08:41:10

Falconbird, thinking of you as you wait. It's so hard to sit these things out on our own. I hope you get news soon.

Indinana Sun 06-Sep-15 08:42:01

Hold on to that 'brilliant news' Falconbird. Being cancer free after so much worry is indeed brilliant. All will be well.

Stansgran Sun 06-Sep-15 08:42:29

I'm sure all will be well but rather than cross your DIL why not ask her to forward " good news " to you .

Falconbird Sun 06-Sep-15 08:45:45

Yes that's right the same thing was said to my son abut passing wind.

I'm going to try and keep a low profile this morning and not pester him too much. I keep thinking about the day he was born, never comprehending that I would be worried witless about him over 40 years later. I was so innocent back then and thought that all the worries would be over when my children reached 18!!!!!

So glad I've got Gransnet and the store of experiences that go with it.

Falconbird Sun 06-Sep-15 08:48:14

Yes that's right the same thing was said to my son abut passing wind.

I'm going to try and keep a low profile this morning and not pester him too much. I keep thinking about the day he was born, never comprehending that I would be worried witless about him over 40 years later. I was so innocent back then and thought that all the worries would be over when my children reached 18!!!!!

So glad I've got Gransnet and the store of experiences that go with it.

Alea Sun 06-Sep-15 09:04:34

As they say in Germany
"Kleine Kinder, kleine Sorgen
Grosse Kinder, grosse Sorgen"

(Little children, little worries, big children, big worries!)
I am sure he will be fine, there will be a rumble and then what the DGCs call a "pop" and everything will be functioning normally. In the meantime, hang on in there flowers

Falconbird Sun 06-Sep-15 09:14:09

Brilliant news - wind has been broken - the medical team are talking about letting him go home today all being well. smile

Like that quote very much Alea - so true.

cornergran Sun 06-Sep-15 09:56:35

So pleased for you all. Really positive news.

durhamjen Sun 06-Sep-15 10:24:57

My ex-daughter in law had this done about the same age as your son.
She had a stoma for about four years before that.
She says the reversal was the best thing ever, and has been fine ever since, although she can no longer have a curry and six pints.
Not that she ever did before!

He'll be fine, Falcon.

Luckygirl Sun 06-Sep-15 10:26:29

So much hanging on just one fart! Hooray!

So pleased that he is clear of the cancer and has now got rid of the stoma - all good news smile

Falconbird Sun 06-Sep-15 10:39:51

It's amazing what can be achieved these days regarding cancer treatments.

That was a long time before your ex dil had the reversal durhamjen, so glad it's worked out for her.

Yes, so much hanging on one fart something we do everyday without much thought. grin

frue Sun 06-Sep-15 10:48:08

Price of love is eternal anxiety - who said that?