My sister-in-law, who never married and is now an "old maid" was ill in the early 90s and has never worked since, due to health problems. She had breast cancer, but mainly she was in a terrible state mentally, following the death of both parents (which I am convinced made her susceptible to the cancer), and what she regarded as harassment from her colleagues at work (at an institution where she was supposed to be the boss).
She went through many months of therapy, including building up her self-confidence by completing such "tasks" as going to a café on her own. Until we spoke about that, it had never even crossed my mind that it was a difficult situation to sit alone in a café.
My thoughts, based on that, are
- a café is fine, but not a lot of fun on your own, unless you have a book, paper or crossword to do.
- does a man sitting on his own in a café wonder what other people are thinking?
- a restaurant might be different, but if you have to have a meal on your own somewhere, just brazen it out. (A man would!)
- there are so many single women of our age (widows, unmarried, divorcees) that it is absolutely nothing unusual. Probably no one is looking at you anyway, and if they are, they won't be having unpleasant thoughts.
- Smile at the other guests, but don't stare!
- Have a little chat with the waitress/waiter (don't keep them too long, though!) so that any onlookers will see that you aren't in any way abnormal
- Show that you are enjoying your food!