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How to have conversations

(83 Posts)
joyjoy Mon 06-Mar-17 16:48:29

I am a first time poster who would love some opinions or advice. The oldest of my four grandchildren is a bright little girl of 9. She will chat to me on the phone about her day and about anything and nothing with her friends for hours, but I (and her parents) have realised that making proper conversation for example at the dinner table is something she struggles with. I would love ideas on how we can all help with this so she can join in with whatever everyone is chatting about or initiate her own conversations without just tuning out and getting bored

Penstemmon Fri 10-Mar-17 17:24:00

If you want to know what young kids do at school you have to talk about your day first! What you have done, found intersting or have learned. Then you can ask what his/her day was like..then they know what sort of things you want to know!

Luckygirl Fri 10-Mar-17 17:31:13

"Otherwise we worry that the whole tuning out thing will become habit" - this cannot be serious - the poor child need not be shy or otherwise flawed. She is simply not the remotest bit interested in what you are talking about; and there is no reason why she should be. Let the poor child eat her dinner and stop making mealtimes an test of her verbal skills.

I cannot believe that you are worrying about this; you must be short of real problems to worry about!

Badenkate Fri 10-Mar-17 19:06:14

I would expect a child of 9 to join in conversations around the table. If you think about what she does chatter about joyjoy, is it about things she's particularly interested in, rather than things others are interested in? I'm asking because my youngest DGC has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers, and this apparently was one of the defining symptoms. He will quite happily talk AT you for ages about Pokemon or Minecraft but can't maintain a conversation about something that interests you. He also finds it difficult to 'read' emotions. He is also 9, and this is something which has very much come to the fore this year.

Anya Fri 10-Mar-17 19:12:45

Badenkate that sounds very familiar. With my GS (10) it's Minecraft, Dr Who & Star Wars. Yes, he has ASD. ,

FarNorth Tue 14-Mar-17 02:48:37

Maybe the child just likes to concentrate on her food and to enjoy it.

Ask her about something you know she's interested in, if you must. You'll then see if she wants to prattle about it at the table or if she'd rather just eat.

Yes, you must certainly be short of problems if this is a worry.

Jalima Tue 14-Mar-17 10:34:35

Too much talking whilst eating can cause indigestion.

DGD said not a word as she demolished her dinner the other evening. I would be more worried if she had talked and talked and pushed her food around the plate and left it.

PRINTMISS Tue 14-Mar-17 10:44:18

Try having a conversation with my 24 year old grand-daughter. Like getting blood out of a stone! She used to chat away quite merrily, but over the past years conversation with her has become non-existent. She is evidently capable of talking the hind legs off a donkey, but not with me, I think we are on the wrong wavelength.