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Children and scooters

(69 Posts)
amt101 Wed 17-May-17 20:50:20

Hello all, I would like some opinions please.
I was on the way to pick up my granddaughter from school. On the way the path was narrow and two youngsters were scooting towards me. We couldn't all get by so said to them you should wait. With that the two mothers yelled they're only 5. I said you should be teaching them to be polite. I then got threatened with you should watch it. I carried on and got my granddaughter and we walked home. When my daughter got home from work I just started talking as normal and she said I've had a complaint about you and one of the women who obviously knew who I was had texted her to say something - but didn't mention the threat you should watch it.
My daughter sided with them and said I shouldn't tell other people's children off. I told her all I said was you should wait and the others shouted at me.
I ended up saying I'm not being spoken to by you like that and walking out. I still feel aggrieved that she sided with them.
What do people think?

Bellanonna Wed 17-May-17 21:00:44

Oh dear! When I occasionally pick up my 5 y o DGD I meet her with her scooter. I am always vigilant that she needs to be careful of other people. And she is. I think the mothers you encountered were rude. Being "only 5" has nothing to do with it. They should be encouraging their offspring to be courteous and careful. I'm sorry your DD felt she needed to side with the other mums.

rosesarered Wed 17-May-17 21:35:44

I think you were right amt and the Mothers should have controlled their children,but sadly that doesn't happen much does it?
Your DD may be worried that they will start some after school bitchyness aimed at her now. Try and make up with her, you only asked the children to wait , and she should see your side of things when she is calm.

M0nica Wed 17-May-17 21:41:00

I am with you, amt101

Cherrytree59 Wed 17-May-17 21:51:46

I agree with roses the other mothers were in the wrong.
But your DD is concerned that it could escalate into further problems at the school gate or between the children themselves in school.

norose4 Wed 17-May-17 22:00:47

I agree with you amt101, but sadly we are often met by parents who encourage their dear off spring to behave without consideration to others, & all too often they are ready to give others a mouthful rather than teach their children manners , I think it's sad & quite depressing & I think it actually stunts the potential for their children to develop into well balanced adults, but like the other poster suggested your daughter is probably worrying about her daughter being singled out, which puts you & others in a difficult position & I guess that's how bullies get away with things, sad really , sorry to come across so negative , I like to think the majority do not behave like this , but it does seem at times that many do

ElaineI Wed 17-May-17 22:41:30

I don't think you should have said about teaching them to be polite as that made you appear rude and a bit aggressive. They then responded to that. I don't agree with the others and feel your daughter was right. Nowadays it is not appropriate to tell other children off unless they are doing something really bad like bullying, stealing etc. It can lead into all sorts of problems as the others have suggested.

FarNorth Wed 17-May-17 23:59:48

I'm trying to imagine the scene - did you speak to the children as they pushed past you? had you all stopped as there was not enough room? or had you stopped to let them past? or what?

Cold Thu 18-May-17 01:47:20

It sounds like everyone was rather rude in this situation. You wanted the other children to wait for you and GD to pass but equally you could have modelled polite behaviour and waited for them to pass

Bellanonna Thu 18-May-17 08:32:21

Yes I agree with Far North. We do really need to know the actual scenario.

TerriBull Thu 18-May-17 08:36:34

The children were small and unable to see the potential danger in colliding with pedestrians, so their parents should have taken on that responsibilty for them. It's a problem of course when they are further ahead and rather excited. I get annoyed on the occasions I have met them in supermarkets where they are a menace, the parents that allow it in such a place are not respecting other shoppers. I was very glad in one instance, a manager, did the right thing and told the mother that her child must get off the scooter immediately. On another occasion, I witnessed a very young child, probably under 3, scooting through our local department store to the exit, automatic doors, main road outside, she had to be grabbed by staff, no mother in sight, she turned up a good few minutes later. These micro scooters are great, my grandchildren have them, I'm not sure I'd want to take them out anywhere too busy with them. It can be problematic with children whizzing along at great speed, unaware of potential dangers.

aggie Thu 18-May-17 08:49:49

I would have taken avoiding action and stood aside to let them past , but with the "look" on my face .

downsized Thu 18-May-17 09:08:00

Personally, I wouldn't have said anything and let them pass. Telling off other people's children is never likely to end well so best to resist the urge to correct them.

I collect DGD from school every day and carry her scooter there for her to ride home. I do try to teach her to watch out for people and let them pass, also to say 'thank you' when people are kind enough to stand aside to let her pass.

Yesterday was 'bring your wheels to school' day and it was lovely, though chaotic, to see them all sailing out on their bikes and scooters, or pushing dolls prams. grin

Riverwalk Thu 18-May-17 09:14:36

To be honest, I would have stepped aside to let them pass as they were only five.

I think you were wrong to address the children directly and tell them they should wait and even more wrong to get into a spat with the mothers and telling them they should be teaching the children to be polite!

shysal Thu 18-May-17 09:15:51

downsized, are you tempted to use the scooter yourself on the way to pick up DGD? I think I might be!

TerriBull Thu 18-May-17 09:17:23

Reading other comments here, I'm not sure I agree with the "you shouldn't tell other people's children off", not so much a telling off, but perhaps make them aware when they are on the pavement with scooters, there will also be other people, including toddlers and old people who perhaps they should slow down for, or even stop. I think the parents should have told them that at the outset, maybe they did and the children were caught up in the moment. Although sometimes it seems in many instances, there is an attitude with SOME parents, that their children must not be restrained, or thwarted in any way, even if that causes other people problems.

Norah Thu 18-May-17 09:25:44

I think you should have waited for the children to pass by.

amt101 Thu 18-May-17 09:39:40

Hi again
I was rushing to the school (as quickly as I could rush) as I was a few minutes late. I just stood there as the scooters were in the way. There was no room my side as there was a tree one side and fence the other but there was room the other side where the children were. On reflection, they were looking at me waiting for me to move but short of walking backwards about 20 yards I couldn't move.
For me this has been a playground scrap that should have been forgotten within seconds but has blown up out of all proportion as they sent a complaint to my daughter.

amt101 Thu 18-May-17 09:51:32

I read about getting into a spat. I was more interested in picking my granddaughter up than arguing but only retorted to them being rude to me telling me that children are allowed scooters by the school. All I had said to the children was you should wait and to the mothers you should teach them to be polite. I got a mouthful back from them and then they texted my daughter.

FarNorth Thu 18-May-17 09:52:27

Try not to get into playground scraps with people many decades younger than you (5 years old).

I might have said to the children to carry on, or waited for their mothers to say something, if they were right there.

gillybob Thu 18-May-17 09:57:08

I'm with Norah and think maybe waiting for the children to pass by would have been the best option. I know the children were't being terribly polite but children are children. When I pick my three up (sadly they can't scoot or cycle as they lives miles away from school) there are loads of children who have cycles and scooters and you would think they had opened a cage when they come piling out of the school yard. Actually I think its great that children are scooting and cycling to school rather than being dropped off and picked up in cars. It just makes me sad that my three can't join in the fun.

gillybob Thu 18-May-17 09:58:01

Not worth falling out over though amt101 smile

radicalnan Thu 18-May-17 10:39:01

Bloody playground mafia the mothers are worse than the kids.

Your daughter should however have supported you, you are her mother. If she is more concerned about her bitchy mates let her get on with it.

youngagain Thu 18-May-17 10:39:32

Am I the only one who is thinking that a footpath is for pedestrians? I would never dream of telling children to stop using scooters on a footpath, but I would hope that parents would give their children guidelines - no matter what age they are - in the correct way to behave on these pedestrian footpaths. In other words, if there is/are pedestrians, then it is up to the child to stop the scooter and wait for the pedestrian/s to pass them. This would, in an ideal world, solve many of the problems, but again it is up to the parents to give their children the guidelines of good manners. When encountering parents who obviously don't care about anyone else, I usually begin to wonder if they themselves were ever taught any manners!

Teddy123 Thu 18-May-17 10:47:47

I sympathise with you but seeing as the mums of the 5 year olds took offence to the point of telling your DD says it all. I would forget it but continue to teach my GC good manners. 5 year olds are old enough to be told that if they're on a footpath, they must stop for people who are walking in case they bump into them.

Reminded me of a child/bike scenario a few years ago. Walking with my DD back to my house, see a little 5-6 year old riding her bike in the road, no parents to be seen. I explain to the child she would be safer on the pavement because of the traffic and walked up our drive. A week later I received the most abusive letter through the post from the parents! So abusive that I rang the police. They were straight round and took it away to try and get fingerprints.

I remember being very shocked and upset that a caring comment could be so misconstrued as to elicit such a disgusting letter. So now I ignore the behaviour of kids in general ......