For the past few months I've been going through the mill a bit. There have been lots of problems to contend with: a new (initially very poorly) grandchild; close relatives with mental illness; fighting the benefits system on behalf of family members and clients of my homeless project; my mother and sister both very ill (ongoing) and a myriad of other disparate difficulties that go along with having a large and much loved family and several community roles working with needy people. Plus I've been a bit poorly myself.
Many of these difficulties are ongoing, but for now the crises are (almost) over and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Yet I can't seem to shake off the weariness I feel. I'm normally a 'pollyanna' type - bubbling and bouncing from one thing to the next and now I'm feeling the weight of burdens that seem unresolvable.
For example:
*We've just had a young Tamil lad from Sri Lanka staying with us for a while. He has, literally, seen most of his family killed and has himself been tortured. He came here with nothing aged 16 and is now 18, going to college and making a life for himself. Our government is sending others back to almost certain torture and death in Sri Lanka; so I fear for this boy.
*Several relatives are suffering from mental illness. One, with extremely severe paranoid schizophrenia, has just had a PIP assessment and been told to sign on - he is incapable of working and his illness has consequently become worse. There is nothing more I can do to help and I'm afraid he may kill himself.
*Most of the homeless people I work with have harrowing back stories and yet are having to fight for a roof over their heads. The resources to help are constantly shrinking, the small local charities that would once have offered support have closed and the statutory support is so limited as to be almost useless.
I could go on and on; but the bottom line is that whilst I live in a warm and caring community it feels as though people on the margins are being constantly ground down - and I can only see things getting worse for them! I try to dwell on the positives, but right now I'm finding it hard and just can't seem to find that switch in my mind to get back to normal. Maybe I just need a holiday.
Sorry for the long post.
I can't believe my car insurance has risen by that much!
They don't really care do they