While I do think the OPs family have been thoughtless in leaving her out of the celebration lunch, this post is interesting to me in that I often find it difficult including DP and fitting in with family events. DP relies on family to go out too, as it seems does rabbitpie, but never suggests where to go, despite being asked, and never complains about not being included for fear of 'being a burden' (not suggesting that you do that, rabbitpie). Consequently I'm often at a loss as to what to do or where to take DP - somewhere flat, non-tiring, not weather-dependent and now food can be a problem too. Without trying to be thoughtless, we often end up going nowhere. Without taking over the post, are there other places you like to go, rabbitpie, where your family can take you, as well as out to lunch? I also think you should say that you would have enjoyed lunch out with your lovely family. So many things are left unsaid when they could be easily resolved. Anyway, cut yourself and the birthday girl a big piece of each and enjoy their company.