Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Help for grandson at school

(20 Posts)
Rosie59 Tue 29-Aug-17 19:35:04

Thank you for all your messages of children who have gone on to excel despite having he dyslexia. It's such a shame they have to go through feelings of inadequacy at a tender age but must be so much more rewarding and fulfilling when they go on to achieve their dreams. We'll keep watching him & perhaps be a bit more demanding when we meet regarding his Y6 provision. Thanks again everyone.

Iam64 Tue 29-Aug-17 19:10:19

If there was an edit button, I'd add that I accept all children are good at something as suggested earlier and that self esteem can be enhanced by success in less academic subjects or hobbies. My experience was of my own children who were encouraged in their interests and hobbies, excelled at a few of these but continued to express the fear that they were "stupid/dim" because of the issues with maths and spelling. A diagnosis helped enormously with the low self esteem.

Iam64 Tue 29-Aug-17 19:08:13

This is another example of gransnet at it's best. Thanks hildaj for reminding me of the name of dyscalculia - which is what my daughter was diagnosed with alongside dyslexia. It's good to read you had a private Ed Psych assessment Rosie, I've long wished I'd done the same for two of my children. With both I'd raised the possibility of dyslexia at age 6 and been told they were excellent, hard working, good average but the youngest in their year so "that group is always a bit behind". An assessment at 6 or at 11 when I raised it again would have made a huge difference to confidence and time allowed for exams. Still thankfully they did ok. One of them is now a primary school teacher and much more tuned into various things as a result of her own experience.
Best of luck Rosie - your grandson is fortunate to have such a loving and supportive gran x

Claudiaclaws Tue 29-Aug-17 19:06:47

I think that test was absolute RUBBISH.

trisher Tue 29-Aug-17 18:47:11

Rosie59 I don't know if this will help but now my DS is older he is able to talk much less emotionally about his dyslexia one of the things he says is that he finds reading really tiring. He has a computer that is all-singing all-dancing, it reads to him, spell checks based on context not the letters and he generally relies on it. I think technology is a great asset for dyslexics and would urge you to let your GS make full use of it. I think there was an idea when my son was at school that extra help would somehow 'cure' him, it didn't. He has been successful although he dropped out of school when he was 14, he went back to an FE college, got qualifications, did a degree and then an MA. Don't give up pushing for the best but make sure your GS is happy. School can be very hard for dyslexics.

Rosie59 Tue 29-Aug-17 17:45:23

Thanks Trisher ... I too am a teacher & that is part of my problem as I know what excellent interventions groups the school I taught at could provide. He has had a bad run of teachers at his school and a Head that doesn't seem to care / understand his needs.
We keep telling him school isn't everything and he's been a different child during the holidays - I'm hoping this tutoring will help as he's been assessed and work will start where he is at and will hopefully lead to success / achievement / increase in self esteem. I just feel school should be doing it though - differentiation seems an out dated concept I think.

trisher Tue 29-Aug-17 16:48:59

Hope all goes well Rosie59 I went through similar things with my youngest DS, he is dyslexic. It was very difficult sometimes and the school provision was patchy some teachers were great others were a nightmare. And I was a teacher so I knew the system. Just keep re-assuring him that he is clever that literacy and numeracy are only part of learning and other things are just as important. My DS developed an interest in photography. Good luck and do let us know how things go.

Rosie59 Tue 29-Aug-17 15:30:27

Thanks for taking time to reply - all your comments are both supportive and helpful. We did get him assessed privately by an Ed Psych and that is how he got on the register. It is us who chase IEP review meetings though. I'm hopeful he will receive more help at secondary school in the meantime we have some tutoring arranged.
I will go on n the kidzaware site (thanks Trisha) and see what we can hope to expect in his final year at primary - thanks again everyone

trisher Tue 29-Aug-17 15:20:11

I've just been looking things up because I know things changed in 2015 when new rules were brought in supporting special needs children from 2-25. Your GS should have an EHC plan. It is a bit of a new thing for schools but they should be dealing with tis now.

suzied Tue 29-Aug-17 15:00:37

It might be worth getting a private Ed Psych assessment to take to the school. At least you'd get an impartial and thorough review of his problems and how they should be addressed. Schools avoid getting children properly assessed as they don't have the funding to do the assessments and don't want to pay for extra tuition.

Serkeen Tue 29-Aug-17 14:47:24

Rosie59 We are all good at something. If you can find out what your grandson is good at and what he shines at and then get him to realise this, it will give him immense confidence.

It could be drawing, football, running, being caring, anything..

If you explain to him that we are All different and we all have strength's and weakness's, he should then realise that it is ok to not be good at certain stuff ..

trisher Tue 29-Aug-17 14:09:40

He's 10 so in Primary and the help needs to come now. It can be in class. Schools can find the money but they will delay if they can.

midgey Tue 29-Aug-17 14:07:24

From speaking to a friend he may have more help in the secondary school!

midgey Tue 29-Aug-17 14:06:03

It all depends on the school, some schools will provide extra help but it won't be a lot and will mean he is taken out of another class (probably one he enjoys). On the whole any help you as a family can provide will be really helpful. My granddaughter is in the same position. The trouble is that schools don't have the money even if they have the inclination.

trisher Tue 29-Aug-17 14:03:19

Do you know who has assessed him Rosie59 Schools are ever more reluctant to spend money on SEN provision. "dyslexic tendencies" doesn't sound accurate enough for an Ed Psych assessment. If he hasn't had one and he is struggling you should ask for one immediately.

hildajenniJ Tue 29-Aug-17 14:01:58

Sorry, I meant to add this test. It might be useful.

hildajenniJ Tue 29-Aug-17 13:56:08

My DD has dyscalculia. She was hopeless with numbers in any form. She did not learn to tell the time until she was 11. When taking her GCSEs her expected grade for maths was a U. She was delighted to get an E. She was accepted to study at the University of East London, and has a degree in Anthropology. Now she is home educating her children, and teaching them maths.
I'm sorry, this is not helping you with maths tuition for your GS, but I thought that reading a success story might help. I've always had the idea that when you go out into employment you learn the maths you need for the job you are doing.

Iam64 Tue 29-Aug-17 12:55:49

Rosie59 - it sounds as though your grandson had an assessment by the educational psychologist. Two of my children are dyslexic. The thing that stayed with me from the comprehensive report by the local EP was the link with dyslexia and her maths ability. The assessment was profoundly dyslexic in language and maths (I'm sorry I can't recall the name for maths dyslexia.). I mention this because the same issues arise, that short term memory issues which mean the child learns the spelling/way to do the maths but forgets very quickly. A diagnosis for one came when sitting GCSE as a young adult. It helped both with the maths exam but more importantly with self confidence - we never heard "I"m dim/stupid/can't do anything" again.

trisher Tue 29-Aug-17 12:22:30

Rosie59 Do you know if your GS has an IEP -he should have if he has difficulties. This sets out goals and strategies the school is using. Excellent information about what I know is a difficult situation for all parents -even those who are teachers- to deal with, here. kidzaware.co.uk/what-are-special-needs-what-is-special-educational-provision/

Rosie59 Tue 29-Aug-17 11:34:06

My grandson is entering final year at primary school significantly behind in maths. We are sending him for tutoring as a way to build his confidence as we feel the work he does will target his ability- currently we feel his school are not meeting his needs. He is on the SEN register with dyslexic tendencies. He feels he cannot 'do anything' which is upsetting to hear from a ten year old.
A meeting has been arranged with the school to discuss the way forward in Y6 - any ideas as to what we might expect in terms of provision for him?