I am envious of a woman I have never met!! Why?

to be fair, she probably has piles.

Ha ha x

Thank you . I don't like this side of me but you're probably right

Why would you envy her? She’s married to a man who has affairs with his female employees.

Surely you can see this one coming..........

Envy is destructive.
It is so easy to feel envy but we never know the story behind any door or any scenario.
You have acheived so much, be proud and happy.
Many will envy you and your achievements.
Don't waste your life being envious. It will just make you unhappy.

No, he doesn't have affairs nor am I the type to have an affair. He is traditional, loyal and adores his kids. The divorce laws are in the woman's favour (he is a multi millionaire by the way)

Do you have feelings for him ?

He isn't very loyal, is he?
What is he doing discussing his marriage with a work colleague?

Try not tj be. It will only destroy you. Be proud of yourself.

I know annsixty, I'm not proud to be envious.

I think it is a reflection on my life, I am working very, very hard but am lonely now my sons are finding their path in life.

I think its an indication that perhaps you should try looking for love, or at the very least some male company.
You've done a lot, but nothing that's personally for you.

Anniebach, he is the best manager I have ever worked for and I have a lot of respect for him. We are similar ages.

Miss adventure, it was an off the cuff comment said in confidence. I rarely see him

I think it is more about me

Missadventure, i think you're right. How can I do this?

I think the fact that he is in a managerial position is attractive to you.
Probably you would like to be 'looked after' by someone who is man enough for the job.
I don't mean that in a derogatory way; I wouldn't mind someone looking out for me, being on my side and supporting me, too.

Well, I suppose the most common way these days is online dating.
I think there are some people here who met partners online.
Its just a bit of a mixed bag.

Hello ineedamum
What is there to envy?
You have achieved so much without help!
On the other hand the woman you describe
has had a free ticket.

The grass on the other side can always seem greener.
But who knows what goes on behind closed doors.

I hope you don't mind me asking ineedamum but do you hold a candle for your manager and this is where your envy lies?

Your GN name suggests that you are missing an important person in your life

I too think I am detecting an element of crush/hero worship.
You are a grown woman ineedamum and I would hope that this sort of adoration was years if not decades behind you. You know nothing of what makes your manager’s wife tick, of what their life is really like, whether he farts and snores. What is it about her that you envy?
I think you need to wake up from your daydreams or misty eyed idea of their relationship and focus on your own life.

Her life is probably not so great. What is it they say - believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. A bit cynical I know.

Of course, another way of looking at it is that your are flexing your romance muscles in a safe way, as it were.
Dipping your toe into the waters, testing to see if you would like a nice partner of your own.

MissAdventure and cherrytree59 , yes.

I have been estranged from my family for many, many years and will be for ever. So I am very independent, to the point that in emergencies I only have my sons to call, but I wouldn't.

I would love support occasionally just to make life easier.
I do wish I had the qualities of my manager in my personal life- loyal, dependable, down to earth and honest.
I suppose that is holding a candle?

ineedamum, take care, you are vulnerable x

but you dont know him or his wife on a personal level so you have no idea what either of them are like ...just HIS version of their relationship.Dont be envious of some fairytale without facts to back it up.I know people who look as if their life is fabulous but I know them personally and I can tell you the reality and the image are not the same .Be proud of who you are and how far you have come and be confident in the future YOU can make for yourself .

I think its time to develop your own personal life, not necessarily looking for a male companion. Join something where you have the opportunity to make friends, be it voluntary work, U3A, classes, whatever you feel drawn too. Take your time but make the effort. I am really shy and nervous but I have managed. You can too.

^I do wish I had the qualities of my manager in my personal life- loyal, dependable, down to earth and honest.
I suppose that is holding a candle^?

Oh dear, you sound like a lovestruck teenager.
This paragon of virtue is your manager, he is also married to somebody else and therefore off limits.
He may well be flattered by doe eyed adoration , please keep your dignity and self respect intact and try to adopt a more mature attitude in keeping with your maturity and position.

You have done an amazing job, but now you are comparing your life to a snap shot, one sided version of someone else’s .it is perfectly normal to feel a bit envious & upset that your life has not been as easy (seemingly) as your managers wife .You are in danger of convincing yourself that she does not value him & that she should & you would. Be very careful not to convince yourself that she doesn’t deserve him & that maybe you do. Best wishes,take care.