This empty nest thing? ?For the birds. Yes, that would true, whining about the very achievement that every parent should be so lucky to experience.
Let’s face it. Raising children means hoping from day one, and doing everything possible to make sure, they will thrive and find their own way. So when the kids reach a huge milestone towards that goal, you might think that all parents would give a high five, swig from the grog bottle and do a little jig. You might, in fact, think it’s downright perverse for parents to carry on with the moping, the weeping and the gnashing of teeth.
Simultaneously, you cherish memories of the helpless babies that they once were, feel great hope for the future, and cry over the realisation that you no longer need to buy milk.
But the situation isn't quite that simple. Much as some people would argue that it is. Perhaps you've met those people? The ones who insist that after the kids are on their own, you need to, as it were, toughen up. The ones who say if any melancholy lingers in your soul once the offspring are tossing Frisbees on sun-dappled beaches, then you have issues. The ones who maintain that when you’re sad, you can't also be happy for your children, and who imply that this might make you selfish, weak, histrionic, or over-invested in your role as the centre of the universe for your children.
I guess it's always easier to see the world in black and white, But in the grey area, where most of us live, one of the marvels of being human involves being able to hold more than one feeling in your heart at any one time.
Yop can lament what is lost even while celebrating what is gained. Simultaneously, you can cherish memories of the little ones they once were, feel great hope for the future, and cry over the realisation that you no longer need to buy milk.
But like so many other parents you will find that your emotions are a potent mix. You have devoted a couple of decades to those babies. All the same, no matter how proud you are of what they have become, it can still come as a shock that they have indeed flown the nest.
How can they possibly be living hundreds of miles from home and wearing size 13 shoes and studying formulas and theories that you cannot even begin to grasp, when surely you could still reach out and take their tiny, grubby little hands in your's to cross the street?
When I was young I got some serious flak for not having children. "What will you do when you're old?" many said. "Do I have kids to be my carers in old age?" I thought, but I kept quiet, instead I said: "In my old age I will probably being in the same care home as you, but I won't be the one looking wistfully out of the window for family who are too busy to visit."
Believe me from your post, you will never have to worry about that. Just wait until you have held your first Grandchild, then come back and tell us how you feel