I can definitely relate. I've always been a worrier, especially about my kids, and my daughter (mom to my gdaughter) has had a lot of issues in the past. She's in a better place now and is a great mom, but there are still things that worry me. I sometimes find myself getting really anxious and obsessed with what will happen, particularly if it affects my gd's safety/wellbeing.
A few things I've found that help somewhat:
First, I ask myself if there is anything I can do to help or change the situation I'm worried about. Usually, it is completely beyond my control. If there is anything I can do, I decide if it's possible, beneficial and realistic before taking any action. I remind myself that my daughter is an adult and needs to take care of herself and her daughter.
If I find myself having repetitive thoughts about the same thing, I consciously stop myself from thinking about it and focus on something else. I continue to do that every time I find my mind there.
Before I give advice, I stop and ask myself; how will my daughter react? Will it be helpful to her or offend her/make her feel judged? If she wanted to, would she be able to follow my advice?
Unfortunately, these techniques don't eliminate the stress entirely, but they have helped me manage it a bit better. And not giving advice every time it pops into my head has saved me from a lot of arguments with DD. I hope this helps. I know it's hard- I often think of the saying that having kids is like having your heart walking around outside your body. So true
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