We all cope in different ways.
When we lost our son, I was angry toward anyone who was less than helpful., but eventually calmed ,down.
WE rewarded ourselves with treats, days out while we mourned (Probably to take our mind off things)
After more than 20 years our mourning has never stopped, just softened a little, and made us more tolerant of, and helpful towards, others and their problems.
Somewhere, there is always a mountain that we have to find ma way to climb. Often the steps are tiny, but at last you reach the top and view the vista beyond.
No matter how long the tunnel seems to be, there is light at the end of it.
You just have to keep walking until you can catch a glimpse of the light, to watch it grow bigger and brighter as you progress, even if your footsteps seem to be heavy at the time.
Take heart! You mwillovercome, even if it takes time.
Best Wishes.