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Bereavement

Your thoughts please

(12 Posts)
annsixty Fri 03-Nov-17 17:41:25

I have read on the news today that Greater Manchester Police have notified the neice of one of the victims of Myra Hindley and Ian Brady that some of her remains have been discovered in a laboratory.
These are reported to be part of a jaw bone and hair samples,
The family say they will have to hold another funeral with the remains of four people having to be disturbed.
My own view is that the remains, such as they are should have been quietly cremated and the family not told.
Do you agree?

Luckygirl Fri 03-Nov-17 17:47:07

What a difficult decision for them. I guess if they had gone ahead and quietly cremated, and then it had later leaked out, they would have been up to their neck in it.

MamaCaz Fri 03-Nov-17 17:50:25

On a personal level, I definitely agree with you that quiet cremation would seem to have been the best thing, annsixty, but in these days of 'transparency' and blame culture, I suppose there would have been a huge outcry had such a cremation taken place but then the truth come to light later. My guess is that none of those who were privy to this information were prepared to take that risk.

Iam64 Fri 03-Nov-17 17:54:19

I heard about this earlier and felt sympathy for both GMP and the family involved. It's one of those can't do right for doing wrong situations. I do understand that if the remains were part of my son or daughter, the potential for further heart break is immense, also that if GMP had quietly disposed of the remains and said nothing but been found out at a later date, that is potentially even worse.

Bridgeit Fri 03-Nov-17 17:55:21

How awful for the family, especially as there doesn't seem to be away of doing this without disturbing the existing burial place. You would think that there would be a simpler way to do this.I feel so sad for them having to cope with even more saddness than they have already suffered. Some people have so much to bear.

cornergran Fri 03-Nov-17 18:12:01

Phew. I can see so many issues either way. I agree, transparency would have been high on the list of considerations. I would hope there will be excellent support for the family. I was wondering what I would do in their shoes. Probably scatter ashes on the original grave, I don’t think I’d want exhumation although unless in that position I’m not sure how anyone could know for sure. I’m sad for them, they must be in turmoil.

Coolgran65 Fri 03-Nov-17 19:59:43

I wonder could a small cask be buried in the grave without disturbing the entire grave. There's no easy answer.

Luckygirl Fri 03-Nov-17 20:02:16

Or even just scatter the ashes on the existing grave maybe.

Jalima1108 Fri 03-Nov-17 20:03:37

They are obliged to tell them annsixty even if it would seem to be upsetting all round.

paddyann Fri 03-Nov-17 22:27:00

I remember the "organs " scandal at a hospital in England years ago,the families were adamant they WANTED the remains returned ,so I think these had to be handed over to the families too.Recently I have been involved with the Baby ashes campaign in Scotland where families were told there were NO ashes after their babies were cremated and later ..for some many years later they discovered that wasn't true .The pain it caused is imeasureable and the families are still trying to get justice AND a final memorial for their lost babies.Some were scattered in out of the way parts of the crematoriums where grass cuttings etc were dumped.There is a campaign running in England too .

nigglynellie Tue 14-Nov-17 15:54:52

Oh No! If I were in that position, I would definitely want to be told of any discovered remains under any circumstances, and bury/cremate them myself. To quietly dispose of them without the families knowledge would, imo be outrageous.

M0nica Tue 14-Nov-17 16:47:19

The family should always be told, but while I respect their grief, they should take some thought to the grief and pain they are giving to four other families. Cremate the bones and do as others have suggested, scatter the ashes on the grave or bury a casket with them in