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Bereavement

Do you delete numbers off your phone when someone dies?

(86 Posts)
Liz08 Fri 09-Mar-18 11:42:35

It seem that quite a few people still have the phone numbers of family and friends who were no longer alive on their mobiles.

My dearly beloved Dad passed away just over a year ago and I deleted his number a few weeks later, now I feel bad.

I did keep the string of texts sent to my sister as I sat by his hospital bed in the weeks before he died. They remind me of the unfolding story.

Purpledaffodil Sat 10-Mar-18 09:27:49

I do delete numbers of the deceased, but still get reminders on FB of a younger friend who died. Her family haven’t deleted her account and so her comments on old posts still pop up. She had a great sense of humour and I find her comments strangely comforting. ?

Harris27 Sat 10-Mar-18 09:28:45

I hadn't really thought about this until I read this thread my mil died two weeks ago after recently going into a home and I deleted her new room/ phone number as it upset me. As it was only 4 weeks in my phone I think that's why.

Twopence Sat 10-Mar-18 09:33:40

For a long time after the sudden death of my very dear cousin her message was still on the answer phone of her land line. I was rather disconcerted at first but then found it a comfort to be able to hear her voice.

LynneB59 Sat 10-Mar-18 09:34:02

Yes, I delete texts, numbers, etc, connected with the deceased person. I don't want to be reminded of the sad times - I like to try to remember the happier occasions and the relationship I had with that person

Nanny123 Sat 10-Mar-18 09:35:56

I still have my dad’s number on my phone, along with his address after 6 years. I just cannot delete them

coast35 Sat 10-Mar-18 09:54:15

I still have my son’s phone number on my phone. So does my husband. Our son, Gary had a fatal cardiac arrest on Nov 13th 2016. It was such a shock because apart from the occasional man cold he’d never had a days illness in his life. I’ve kept his number and his texts. I can’t bear to get rid of them yet.

Funnygran Sat 10-Mar-18 09:56:30

I have e mails from my sister from a few years back. She died 18 months ago and I do read them occasionally as she used to write in the same way that she spoke. It makes me sad but I don't think I could ever delete them.

patriciageegee Sat 10-Mar-18 10:05:00

No I don't delete them but I find as phones get upgraded over time that's a kind of natural, organic way to let go of texts/phone numbers from our beloved.

icanhandthemback Sat 10-Mar-18 10:15:15

Funnily enough, I was talking to my husband about this the other day. I still have the numbers of people who died 10 years ago on my phone. It somehow feels too final to deliberately delete them. However, if I ever started a new address book, I wouldn't put them in it.

Marieeliz Sat 10-Mar-18 10:17:43

I don't change my phone much. I still have my brother's number on, he died in 2010. Also his last message to me which was "Night Night". Could not delete it for the life of me.

adaunas Sat 10-Mar-18 10:47:49

Can’t bring my self to delete Mums number, even though I know the people who bought her house.

Heather23 Sat 10-Mar-18 10:47:51

Such a sensitive and individual choice to make. An old family friend who used FaceBook died a few years ago but annually his picture comes up reminding us it is his birthday and would we like to send him greetings. I find this difficult to see and wish his family would take him off FB as it seems disrespectful in a way but then again I can understand how they do not wish to 'delete' him. A dilemma of the modern technological age we find ourselves in. My heartfelt sympathies to those of you who have lost loved ones, particularly children.

grannybuy Sat 10-Mar-18 11:04:45

Coincidentally, I deleted a late close friend's e Mail address from my contact list yesterday. She died in 2009. Hard to give up connections.

nipsmum Sat 10-Mar-18 11:26:06

Why do you keep phone numbers. You're not going to be able to phone them . Memories will do for me.

Bagatelle Sat 10-Mar-18 11:29:03

I find it more painful to keep them than to delete them. To me it's only a number, the person isn't in there.

grandtanteJE65 Sat 10-Mar-18 11:54:00

I too find it far to painful to have phone numbers and addresses of those I have lost. So usually sometime during the first month after a death, I delete phone number from my phone, e-mail address from my accounts and delete name, address and phone number from my address book. Otherwise I feel like crying, or do so, every time I see their name.

However, we are all, mercifully, different and I can well understand that others find it too painful to delete as even for me it feels as if I am somehow delete the person from the land of the living when I delete names and phone numbers.

Saggi Sat 10-Mar-18 11:54:20

IT took me 4 years to delete my mum’s phone number...but I needed to do it. Although I still have her specs and her old front door key.The key was on a lion key fob ...my new grandson took a liking to the key +fob so it was an excuse to keep it.Now my granddaughter plays ‘house’ with it. Don’t know what I’ll do when she no longer plays with it!?

ValC Sat 10-Mar-18 11:57:07

My Sister died last year from Cancer. She was on a trial that seemed to be working and the last text I got from her the night before she died saying how good she was feeling I have kept along with all the others we exchanged, I don't think I could ever get rid of them.

Crazygrandma2 Sat 10-Mar-18 11:57:13

Yes I do delete numbers. Always a bit sad to do but clearly I won't be using them again and I don't need a number on my phone to remember the person I have lost. We are all different though.

Direne3 Sat 10-Mar-18 12:22:46

Finding it so depressing when sending Christmas cards to see a deceased partner's name crossed out I decided to write all entries in my new address book in pencil and erase and re-enter as appropriate. Also it's very useful with so many other changes, i.e. people moving house or getting married.

BRedhead59 Sat 10-Mar-18 12:45:59

When my Mum and Dad died my brother and I cleared the house. He was less emotional than me. I couldn't throw away their passports and have kept them since. I could probably just about dispense with them now though. You can't keep everything and in the future, it will be our passports that are the issue!

Sheilasue Sat 10-Mar-18 13:29:57

Still have my sons phone number on my mobile phone. Even have a number of other things what the police returned to us.

craftynan Sat 10-Mar-18 13:48:14

I have Facebook friends who have died far too young. I had a birthday reminder for one this week which was quite upsetting. I think the only way to stop this would be to unfriend then but I can’t bring myself to do that.

Disneyfan Sat 10-Mar-18 14:38:14

I still have my Dad's email address and he passed away 13 years ago. Still can't delete it. Also my mum's phone number and she passed 2 years ago. It doesn't bother me that I still have them and find comfort from that. It doesn't hurt anyone else either. Do what's best for you x

CardiffJaguar Sat 10-Mar-18 17:31:53

Do we remove them? Yes. There is no need to keep reminders where they are unnecessary and may be dialled in error. Telephone numbers are simply a transitory method of communication.