My wife died on new years eve after a long illness. For the last few years she was bed bound and I looked after her, with help from carers and with virtually no practical or emotional support from our two sons or their wives. We had no social life having relocated just before she became ill. I feel I am not grieving for her loss as she is free from pain and I grieved whist she was ill, but I am so angry and hurt about not getting support from the boys or their wives when she was ill. I suggested to one son his wife could support me at the funeral but I was told "I would be lucky" I think she does not do emotion. The other DIL lost her mun when she was 14 , and seems to have issues. At one stage she was not coming to the funeral and did not want to travel in the cortege. I felt I needed support so asked two nieces who were all happy to help. I don't think my sons were too happy about this but never said.
I have had no contact with the dau's in law, no visits to see how I was actually coping, no food parcels. On the advice of a counsellor from CRUISE I mentioned in in an email that I had been advised to tell them about my anger and hurt. I went to see grandson swim and his dad indicated he didn't want to talk then, No contact since even though he is only 40 min away. The other son, one phone call since the funeral. We always felt we were fitted in with visits and scarce telephone calls which we put down to pressure of work so nothing has really changed except I have now given up expecting anything. I know I can contact them but the anger and hurt is overpowering. I should say I have had many episodes of depression, anxiety, BPDO and bipolar which I think arose in part from stress caring for my wife. One of my sons helped in talking as he is a psychotherapist but nothing now, I know they miss their mum but they have support from their families. I am trying to build a life bit by bit but don't see much point. I am too busy being angry, a trait I picked up in childhood with dysfunctional parents, It just takes so long to meet new people
Water Pollution -“ A National Disgrace”? A case for renationalisation?