Nessie , my 25 year old youngest child (a son)died tragically in April 2002. I am fortunate that I have five other children. We all know that there is a hole in the family and will never totally recover from this loss.
On the second anniversary of his death I wrote a very bitter little poem, complaining about people who said that 'Time Heals'. They were correct - but a lot longer than two years! That first year is dreadful, everything reminds you of him and what should be happening.
surely, your partner understands your grief - and perhaps he is concerned about talking about it in case it upsets you. I found for the first few months all I wanted to talk about was him - indeed, a member of an cttee I was on, trying to get me to attend, and I was reluctant as I told her I was the worlds prize bore, as all I wanted to talk about was mty son, actually said the lovely words 'Come along and bore us'.
It will take a very long time to start to recover from this death, after about five years it does get slowly better, although never completely passes.
Talk about him, good things as well as bad ones. At first the family came together on the anniversary of his death, after three years we stopped that - and now meet up on his birthday to celebrate his life. All the children in the family (born since his death) know about him and we talk to the about Uncle G. Photographs of him hang in each of our homes, and at family occasions we raise a glass to him.
You are in such early days, talk to your GP, talk to your partner and other family members, do not hug your grief too close to yourself, share it and give yourself lots and lots of time.
This first Christmas and festive season will be hard for you - don't try to pretend everything is okay - it is not.
