kathsue, I think your GS shouldn't have to go to the cemetery if he doesn't want to. I'm sure that you don't want him to do it just out of guilt or duty.
We are all very different. Some people find rituals and memorials a great comfort. Some just find no meaning at all. Others (myself included) actively avoid them and find it all far more upsetting than useful. Everyone should be free to grieve in their own way.
Special days, birthdays, anniversaries, celebrations - all are tinged with sadness in grief. I have a whole new appreciation of normal 'ordinary' days. The usual dog walks, shopping etc. are such happy times.
Maw's poem says it all. We expect far too much of ourselves - so be kind to yourself instead.
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Bereavement
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