I am so sorry for your loss. Your grief is very new and I know the feeling having lost DH last year. I couldn't even leave my house for at least 6 weeks. Don't try to suppress it, you should cry as much as you want as this is something you need to work through. I know people say it will get better, but this is so hard to understand at the moment. Don't think about the future too much, just take it one day at a time. A friend told me about something called achievement analysis, whereby I would think about what I had achieved at the end of each day. This can be something as simple as being able to get out of bed, have a wash and get dressed. Thinking about what DH would have wanted was very helpful too. He had terminal cancer and was always worried about the effects his going would have on me and the DC. I knew I had to be OK for him because he couldn't be. He used to do all the cooking and made me promise to cook a nutritional meal for myself every day and I did manage most of the time, although it was very hard. You also need to be very kind to yourself and allow yourself some treats, just small things, such as a nice bath with lovely products, a favourite bar of chocolate, whatever helps. As for videos, it took me a year before I could face watching them. Your grief will never go away. I think of it as a suitcase which you will always carry round with you, some days it will be very heavy, but some days in the future it will start to feel lighter.
and a virtual hug.