Alienation From Someone

The key here is why you feel the compulsion to keep this relationship going - work related, a divorce coparenting situation, family or social perceived obligation, etc

If there is truly a need to interact with this person and cannot be avoided, stick to the point and get it done fast, no need for small talk

The relationship is causing you stress so I don’t understand why you feel you need to continue with it. Why not gradually leave longer gaps between meeting see how you feel then and by then you will know if you want to continue or let it fade away.

if you have to pass on information, could you do it by email ? eg,
hello yoz, hope you are well.
just to let you know, suzy's great aunt agatha died last week. thought you'd like to know, in case you see suzy. all the best, hcw.

Your post seems to be shrouded in mystery. You must ask yourself what sort of connection do you have with this person? Is it familial? Do you need to be in touch with them if it causes ructions? Do you stay in touch through a sense of duty like I did with my late aunt? Are you after a peaceful life in your golden years? Do you need to put yourself first now?

Happy is this because of bereavement that you have to keep in touch . As this is a bereavement forum . But you don't say if it is. To be honest if it is causing you this much stress I wouldn't contact them for months and see if they contact you. If they don't you know the relationship is over. Life is to short to bother with people who don't care about you and who take pleasure in hurting you. 💐

Happy, Whiffs last sentence really says it all. Don’t be with people that bring you down however good it was once. There is no point for either of you,

Hi Happy , I'm sorry you have this strained relationship.

Why do you keep in contact with this person? If its from guilt, obligation or fear, that's not going to bring you peace.

Christmas is a special time. Some relationships feel like a bereavement even though they are alive, because the estrangement is so painful. I am estranged from my son and I let him have the last word because to answer him would have prolonged the insults. I chose peace and didn't answer. It was hard and I do miss him, but until he finds forgiveness and peace we have no future except pain and drama.

I really hope you can find peace on this.

It’s not easy making the decision to walk away from a relationship with someone no matter who it is. However if you feel discomfort in any way with someone you have to it’s not healthy feeling uncomfortable with someone.
You will feel peace eventually and realise how easy it is to leave someone in the past who for whatever reason you don’t need anymore.

That's a good point Readhead56.