Having grandchildren has been almost a constant delight, but it is also full of surprises. One of these is being constantly reminded of when I was a parent. I find this works in two ways. First, both my grandsons (one from each of my children) remind me from time to time of their individual parents - in both good and bad ways.

One grandson can be particularly demanding and I watch my son struggle with the very behaviour I had to struggle with when he was a child. He finds it enormously irritating, as did both my husband and myself thirty or so years ago. The same is true, of course, with more charming personal characteristics. The other grandson is particularly thoughtful of others' needs and it is lovely to see this trait being passed on via my daughter. These are just two examples and there are many others.

The other way I am reminded of being a parent is simply all the day-to-day issues that arise for my children in their parenting. One example is how much discipline to apply. Should they withdraw privileges or find some other way to get their child to behave? It is always a very difficult problem and I feel for their struggle. Another example is how much they should stretch their children in new directions. I spent hours trying to get my daughter to practise the piano when she was young and now I see her in the same position with her son. These issues come up in all parts of daily life, such as coping with mealtimes and fussy eating or the inevitable problems of getting a child to bed.

I offer my thoughts and advice now and again, but this is an area where we all tread carefully. Being the grandparent can bring you together, but I guess we are all aware of how it could also create problems if you aren't careful.

Ann's book, Celebrating Grandmothers: grandmothers talk about their lives, is available in paperback and e-book form from Amazon.