This is why I am not looking for husband no. 2, at all. I don't need someone falling asleep ten minutes into watching something together or changing from his initial "Superman" persona of our first dates. I've been there and done that and worked hard to not have to put up with it again.
I would, however, have a companion, but he would have to live in his own house, and share times when it suited us both, doing what suited us both. No more having someone making me hide behind the curtains when friends call, to ignore them. I have fought for my freedom and independence and for having my own roof over my head, be it social housing, it is still in my sole tenancy.
Bean You do need to sort this out with your husband, but before you do, please get all the relevant information you may need to your questions. Maybe get a free consultation with a solicitor or see Age UK, they may be able to help you with what rights you have or what you would be entitled to. But please do not be scared of making changes if it would be for the better. It will be different, you would be in somewhere smaller, probably, you would be on your own with no one around for company, you would have to sort out all your own finances. But you would be free, free to have anyone you want in your home, to share it with friends, family, pets (if allowed if renting) anyone and no one will be able to control you. As for the getting ill, then would you really want someone sat at the side of your bed in hospital who's heart really isn't in it to be there? I would rather have lovely nursing staff look after me than any family who really don't care. Please don't worry about this bit, if it is the right thing to do to leave, then your health will improve probably by feeling better about things.
I did it 15 years ago, I am so glad that I did. With my DS now at University I couldn't possibly think what it would be like now with just me and my ex husband together. People change, to promise to be together for life is a hard call. If you know that you have given it your all, then get some advice, save up some money, but make sure you come out of it both with your head held high and your pocket full enough to sustain you. Don't do as I did and get short changed. I was too soft, but then we all live and learn. Good luck.