Gosh, to think grandparents never did this till it was invented!

Oh now I've actually read down to the questions bit, I think it's terrible. Can't you just walk and chat? Or have I been doing it wrong all these years?

Obviously we all have.

I'm all for using gently probing questions with children, or adults for that matter, when there's a specific worry or problem causing concern and I'm trying to tease out what's really going on. But it seems like the article wants us to turn every interaction into a therapy session, children are very astute and would just think it was weird and clam up or as my 2 teenage granddaughters would say "that's a bit random"! If we spend time with children just doing ordinary stuff, having fun and making it clear we love them and are interested in their lives the chances are they'll be open to talk about their worries anyway.

Actually, if we go for a walk we are usually looking at the trees, different leaves, flowers, toadstools, trying to identify them, looking for a good stickman, birds, a squirrel etc.

How could I have got it all so wrong?

I have always walked with my g/children ,from tiny babies in prams ,onwards we chat about our surroundings and about life, i have never needed prompting with questions to ask, could i ask is the OP a grandparent? as i am sure these types of walks and chats we have are normal and have been for many years.

It is hard enough these days to get our ten year old out for a walk unless he has a friend with him or a football to kick all the way there and all the way back, but the minute I started trying to make questions like that pass for normal conversation, he would think I was very weird and would indeed "run for his life" I should think!

I can see where he is coming from and where he is trying to go to but I am not sure whether his suggestions actually address the issue

If you are the kind of family who go on walks with children and grandchildren with conversation going where fancy takes it, then these kinds of conversations are likely to be already taking place.

The kinds of families the children he wants to help are in are probably those who would no more go for a walk in the woods with their children and talk than put their phones down and talk to them when eating out at Pizza Express or Macdonalds.

- Do you think you are a good friend? Why?
I like her

- How could you make a friend feel better without using any words?
Smile?

- When you forgive someone, how does it feel afterwards?
Huh?

- When you were last angry or sad, what made you feel better? Did someone help you?
I pushed my sister, that made me feel better

- How could you help someone feel more confident?
Huh?

- What is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you?
Father Christmas brought me the toy I wanted

- How would you make someone feel happier if they were sad?
Dance up and down and make silly faces

I hate these contrived ideas, designed to manipulate children.

Empathy is learned by example - by how a child is treated by their parents; and how adults in the family treat each other.

In our local primary school there is a bench that any child who is on their own or unhappy in some way can go and sit - and the other children are expected to go and see how they can help. Empathy in action as part of the every day ethos of the school.

Lucky You have put your finger right on the spot: Empathy is learned by example

I have a lovely video of my GS walking through the woods whistling a little tune to himself and poking the leaves with a stick. Jumping in the puddles in his wellies, knocking on 'doors' in the roots of trees and generally having a lovely walk outdoors, in the fresh air.

He was 4 yrs old. Now he is 13yrs old and still loves being in the great outdoors. No doubt at all that he will choose being outside than being in an office when it comes to work.

In my laziness I ask cant all this be done sitting by the fire ? Then you can have eye contact and true listening can happen.

Jalima so true. Can I add Gds current response to most things just now "Pooh"
accompanied by a peal of laughter. Alternatively she thinks the funniest word in the world is "knickers". I blame the nursery and her friends.

I asked DGD (age 4) what is brown and sticky (naughty granny )
The answer is supposed to be 'poo' and lots of giggles, then you say 'No, it's a stick'.

DGD said 'A tree?'

She's cleverer than me, that girl!

There is a very good Flanders and Swan song called 'Pee, po, belly, bum drawers'.

'^ask questions about schoolwork^'. If I ask my grandson what they've been doing in class when I pick him up from school, I just get "oh the usual". Ditto "Did you play any good games at break?" If I don't ask him, he will generally volunteer the information himself - eventually. I generally get the best response when I am led by him. We went for a walk a couple of weeks ago and were throwing sticks in a stream. The current took his stick along and then it turned back on itself and came back towards us. "Why did it do that?" he asked. This is like a gift of diamonds from an intelligent child but one who in general does not ask a lot of questions. So now, he knows a bit about currents and eddies, how the stream bed affects them, and why there are slow bits and fast bits, etc. If he gets even an inkling that I am probing him for personal information, he will either clam up or remove himself from the room. The older they get, the more sensitive they seem to be about revealing stuff about themselves.

I find the best questions come while sitting around the dining table. Over Christmas DGS, aged six, looked up from his lunch and said 'If the universe is always expanding and goes on forever, where is heaven?

These blogs are mostly on topics which somebody writes about but that most of us take for grmnted. Children whose evolutionary goal in life is to survive are not naturally empathetic.

Which doesn't mean that they won't show empathy when the themselves are parents.
Empathy can be taught or praciced. When Ma in law was widowed I taught DH how to show more empathy on the telephone.
I myself learned in doing social work.
Now a walk with a grandchild is called an empathy walk-whatever next?

I wish I could edit my post....

It's OK MargaretX - I realised ages ago that there is no spell check on GN

Very occasionally I remember to do a preview of a post but mostly I read them afterwards and think oh dear!

Yet again were taught how to suck eggs.
As Monica and others have posted this just isn't going to happen for the children who most need it. There are still children in our cities who are unfamiliar with the countryside.
When I lived in North Wales friends who did mountain rescue had helped a couple of teenage boys who got stuck rock climbing. They just happened to be passing and saw the boys who had unsuitable clothes and shoes and no equipment. Afterwards they said how pleased they'd been that the boys turned out to be local as so few local youths got out into the mountains.

Sounds more like an interrogation!
I hate the way some adults think you talk to children by bombarding them with questions -school, sports, more school yawn
I would much rather let DGC decide what to tell or ask me, to talk about what we see around us, see shapes in the clouds, look out for squirrels or particular birds (usually LBJs, little brown jobs) or if DGC is still young enough, chant our way through the entirety of Bear Hunt as loud as we can!
"Empathy walks" sound boooooooooring