As many people asked questions on similar themes, Laurie has put together her answers accordingly, rather than individually. And here they are...
FROM LAURIE FRANKEL
Thank you all so much for reading THIS IS HOW IT ALWAYS IS, for your warm wishes, and for asking such smart, loving, thoughtful questions. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart!
On what happens next…
Lots and lots of you wondered whether there will be a sequel, which, thank you, is the highest compliment. I don’t think there will be though. I very much wanted the ending to stay ambiguous; we don’t know who or what Poppy will be going forward any more than she does, and that’s uncomfortable but wonderful. It’s true that the issues addressed in this book would grow and change as the kids became teenagers and young adults, but in other ways, this is how it always is, which is my larger point. So tempting as it is to follow these characters further, I think I’ll probably hold here.
On travel and research…
Lots of you also wondered about Thailand, which is a great question. It was something of a surprise to me. I didn’t realize the book was going there when I began it, and when I did realize it, I also realized that 1) I was going to have to go too in order to write it and 2) I was going to have to go immediately because I couldn’t finish the book otherwise. So I called a travel agent and left just a few weeks later for two-weeks of exploration all over the country. It was a remarkable trip, somewhere between business and pleasure, and Thailand is a lovely country with lovely people in it.
As far as research-from-home went, I did lots and lots (and lots) of research for this book. I read books, academic papers, medical texts, essays, and memoirs. I went to conferences. I met lots of parents and lots of kids, spoke to doctors and experts in the field, and generally learned as much as I could from all sides.
On transgender issues…
I think transgender and gender nonconforming people are safer, more understood, and more embraced now than ever before, if slowly and insufficiently as yet and with the horrible attendant backlash. Change is slow and hard, but there’s good movement in the right direction, and I’m so grateful for that. It’s one of the reasons I went to Thailand where transgender people, and indeed a notion of gender beyond just male and female, are already part of what’s considered normal.
My child was just six when all of this began for us, though I can certainly see earlier signs in retrospect. It’s breathtaking and constantly surprising to me how sure these kids are, how clear they are and how early.
On my own child…
My daughter thinks this book is about her, and she loves that. She can’t imagine, actually, why I’d write a book about anything else. She is, after all, terrifically fascinating and important so far as she’s concerned. She’s not read it yet — she’s only eight — but I think when she does she’ll realize it’s not really about her at all. She is very proud of being transgender though and eager to spread understanding far and wide.
The fairy tale is my favorite part, and I do wish I could tell stories to my own child as Penn does, but in fact, mostly I read to her instead of making it up aloud. It turns out I need my fingers on a keyboard to translate the words in my brain. Off-the-top-of-my-head proves unfortunately to be a skill I lack.
On screen…
Film and TV negotiations are underway now. So cross fingers please!