Oceanmama I could spend an hour or two describing the last 30 years in my family to you but you’d get too depressed! As those who’ve responded here who have experience working with severe learning disability will know, what we’re talking about here is the other end of the autism spectrum from Asperger’s, the end which most people know nothing about and in many ways I wish I didn’t.
Suffice to say that if we had been able to, of course we would have kept our son at home (until adulthood anyway) but his behaviour was so challenging, and our family life was so threatened (mentally and physically) that residential care was the only option for us and at a very young age. It will probably shock you to know that he went to a specialist boarding school when he was just five. We are lucky our marriage is still intact. Most do not survive this kind of onslaught. And if you’re still wondering how a five year could cause that kind of impact, I still have flashbacks of the time he tipped over a heavy dining room table, narrowly missing his toddler brother.....and many , many other examples.
Develomentally, he can’t or won’t feed himself, is not able to use the lavatory (so still in pads) or dress or wash himself.
As I said, this is an area of disability which doesn’t get much coverage. The Covid restrictions around care homes for the elderly apply to these homes, too, by the way so we haven’t been inside it since March.
I do get rather fed up with the ‘sanitised’ view of learning disability as seen in The Rainman, ‘The A word ‘ on TV. Sadly, it’s not all about high functioning people with Down’s Syndrome, If only it were.
On a more positive note, we’re hoping that the new home, with a highly experienced on site team of occupational therapists and so on will give his life new meaning.