'Twas the night before Christmas
I realised with a shock
Not a present was purchased
Not a bath salt or sock
No turkey was ordered
No sprouts to be had
And the milk that I had in the fridge had turned bad.
How could I have messed up?
No cake had been made
And all I could offer to drink was limeade
No tree in the window
No cards by the hearth
Was this how to celebrate Jesus's birth?
Would sausages do for our festive repast?
Might this family Christmas turn out as our last
Would the little ones say "That's 'enough,
That's the last time we come to you Granny dear
We think we'll just go to McDaonalds next year"
When you've had a wee Baileys
Things are not what they seem
Thank goodness my "Nighmare Before Christmas"
Was ONLY A DREAM !! 
Lack of public toilets in towns.
