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Friend with Dementia

(11 Posts)
BlueBelle Fri 19-Jan-18 08:42:25

Some of you may remember giving me good advice when I asked for help having a friend (with dementia) for the evening, whilst her husband went out I couldn’t think how to ‘entertain’ her . the most wonderful advice I got was not to try to entertain and that I d be the one bored not her as she probably wouldn’t have a great deal of time related concerns
I have had her a few ‘ visits’ since then and whilst I still get a bit worried I now switch the tv on to something light and entertaining ‘Are you being framed’ is excellent and we laugh our way through it whilst having a pizza and coffee
Anyway last night was a visit night and I just want to share a couple of light hearted giggles with you
When her husband brought her he handed me a bag and said here’s a bottle of sherry and some chocolates I thanked him profusely and thought how lovely, however when he came to pick my friend up he said ‘ Did xxxx enjoy her sherry’ I had to fudge an answer that we d been too busy to get round to it Whoops
When I made her coffee I put hers in a mug with a smiley face on the front I have a set of mugs with different expressions on When I came to clear the plates and mugs away, hers was missing but her closed handbag was right by her feet ??? I just pray there were not any dregs left in it

kittylester Fri 19-Jan-18 08:49:38

What a lovely friend you are BlueBelle. I'm sure both your friend and her husband really appreciate you! And, don't drink the sherry all at once. winegrin

Nanawind Fri 19-Jan-18 09:10:59

Bluebell you are a lovely friend to have. Your friend might not remember the visit but it must make her happy or she would be upset. At this time of her life with this terrible illness she needs security and familurality, it also makes her husband happy as she is happy. Living with someone with dementia is very difficult so this small break is helping him cope too.

MissAdventure Fri 19-Jan-18 09:15:43

Well, bluebelle, you used to have a set of mugs.. smile
Its lovely that you and your friend can enjoy your time together. Long may it continue.

Niobe Fri 19-Jan-18 09:37:40

Bluebell, your friend is lucky to have you and her loving husband in her life at this difficult time. I think that our fear of dementia is made so much worse by not knowing who will take take care of us , or even if anyone will, if we develop it. None of us know what our future holds so the best we can do is support each other through difficult times.

BlueBelle Fri 19-Jan-18 10:24:57

thank you for your encouragement I really, really didn’t post for praise I just thought the bottle of sherry and the missing mug were so funny ??

midgey Fri 19-Jan-18 10:35:34

Imagine if there was quite a lot of ‘dregs’! grin
How great that her husband can have a bit of time out thanks to you.

silverlining48 Fri 19-Jan-18 11:06:08

So pleased your friend’s visits are working out. So many of my dear mums friends dropped away, i felt very alone, but your friend’s husband clearly appreciates your support, and what a bonus that you and your friend enjoy yourselves.
Hope she is enjoying her new smiley mug.

Mapleleaf Fri 19-Jan-18 11:43:35

? Lovely story, bluebelle.

Auntieflo Fri 19-Jan-18 12:07:41

Bluebelle, lovely story. I wonder how many more if us have friends with the same circumstances, and are hesitant about offering a respite time for the partner?.

SueDonim Fri 19-Jan-18 13:51:22

That's very sweet, Bluebell. We too have a friend with dementia and we do just as you describe, just KBO (keep b*gg*ring on) with him. And it does produce its funny moments! When he was still driving he moved their car away from the house for a work truck to be parked. Unfortunately, he couldn't remember where he had parked it and my Dh had to go and look for it! As his wife says, if you don't laugh at it, you'd cry. smile