elizaflowers14, I think you are in a very tough place but there are a few things that stand out in your post that suggest that you may be overstepping the mark without realising you are doing it.
If you criticise her husband you are automatically putting yourself at a disadvantage as you will be playing into his hands.
Secondly, regardless about what you thought you were doing with the bike, keeping it at your house etc., you were giving the impression you were in competition with them.
How did you react when your daughter didn't want to go on the Alpaca walking. Did you just accept her decision or did you try to cajole her into it? Your intentions were probably very good but sometimes they are not perceived that way especially where PND is involved.
Can I humbly suggest that you talk to a relationships counsellor or similar? I say this because I felt quite virtuous about some of the things I tried to facilitate for my daughter when she was struggling to breastfeed. When my DS had a child and his wife was struggling, I thought I was being helpful to her and was horrified when my DD told me I was a breastfeeding Nazi. When I discussed this issue with my counsellor, I realised that I wasn't very good at reading the signals and was trampling blithely with my size 6's. I can't say I am perfect but I have had learned a few things about myself that I really hadn't realised. BTW, all my friends agreed with me too because they heard my side of the story.
I am sure you are very hurt and I am not saying that your daughter is completely right but sometimes when we look at what we bring to the table, it is helpful in healing the wounds.