School making parents feel guilty

I totally understand that.
It seems as if every week there is an 'event' of some sort, and there is only me now to attend these things.

It really is too much at times.

I can only remember my mother going in to school two or three times in all the time I was there.

We have rarely been able to attend any of DGS's school events but try to go to the ones for the local DGC.
If a parent is working and can't get time off - and some work in other schools - or there is no-one else to go to the event, the child may feel quite anxious not to have anyone there.

It's all getting rather too much imo.

I know where you are coming from. My daughter is a full time teacher in a high school. Her husband is a stay at home dad so there is always one parent attending events and I and my husband can sometimes go as well. However its hard for my daughter to never get to any events ...especially the Christmas Carol service.It is impossible to get even unpaid time off for these things in her school.

My niece is a reception class teacher and she always manages to get time off for children's events. Her Senior Management Team is much more sympathetic about such events. She thinks this is because, as a primary school, they always hope and expect that a parent can come along to support their own events.

There are always a few children who have no-one who can attend. Recently the end of summer term event has been put on in the afternoon and evening so that more parents can manage one time or the other.

Our primary school always arranges a selection of morning, afternoon and evening performances of plays and concerts so that most parents will be able to attend.

With all due respect, it all sounds rather middle class. Parents don't have time and many children rely on childminders/after school clubs. Not terribly sensitive to invite mothers to lunch.

I have paired up with parent friends before to be their kids "person in the crowd" for the ones they couldnt make and vica versa.

That way the kid knows that there is someone in the crowd looking for them to wave at etc who will be cheering for them. They get told mum/dad cant make it but look for X's mum, she'll be clapping for you.

Means that they're not staring out at a crowd of people just there for other people with no-one there looking for them

What's wrong with it sounding 'middle class' Lily65?
Not everyone (or even most people) live in deprived areas of inner cities.

I haven't got any parent friends these days.
I had them when I was a parent, but none now.

I'm all out of step with everything and everyone, it seems.

Word of warning cherrytree don’t ever criticise a school or teachers ! Blimey all hell breaks loose if you do . I once said my DGD didn’t like her teacher !!!!!

Anyone criticising the education system will get lines.
In fact, we probably all will.

Including attending every Thursday morning last year as the school requested parent or grandparent to attend a phonic lessons
Why I wonder?
Is that because the person taking phonics has not had the necessary checks?

The DGC managed to cope with phonics without a parent or grandparent being present, although they did run a maths course for parents.

I'm sure its just meant to be inclusive, but it really is a pain in the neck.
Spotty day, picnic day, pancake day, book day, this meeting, that meeting.
It was terrible when my daughter was really poorly.
We missed all of them!

Teachers all attending day ? Hmm ? maybe not !

Every Thursday morning? More is gained from looking at a book together than from endless phonics.

I have found that the level of involvement requested by primary schools is becoming ridiculous. Causes so much guilt and hassle.
Don't get me started on the last year of primary school! Where I live it's now being treated as if they are graduating from university. Dinners, assemblies, ceremonies, celebrations. Often requiring not just parental presence, but significant financial outlay. Graduation dresses for 11 year olds!

Elrel The school called it 'phonics'
It was for all children and either one parent or GP every Thursday for 1 hour for the first half a term after child starts reception class

No reading books.
The teacher would set up various activities in each table and you would move around class with the child encouraging and helping the child, Then as a GP report back to parents.

The idea was that the parents would understand the methods involved in teaching their child and use similar methods at home.
Information sheets given out at the end.

gilly I will be careful

The schools is keen to get parents and grandparents involved but often both parents are at work or at home with a baby or toddler. Not all children have grandparents at hand.

GrandmainOz my grandson graduated fron reception! Parents and GP invited of course

Another ‘knock the schools’ thread?

Cherrytree59 Lordy! I'm all for celebrating children's achievement. I fervently believe children thrive on recognition and encouragement. But this business of celebrating EVERYTHING when it hasn't actually involved an achievement on the child's part. I think it's over the top. How do children distinguish this hoopla from real praise for learning/perseverance/effort? It makes real milestones meaningless. Moving up a year is exciting for the child, but that's it. What's wrong with the end-of-year classroom party where each child brought a plate of biscuits or something and games were played before hometime?
In my part of the world I have honestly read of mothers in the big cities hiring limos to take children to Grade 6 graduation night. Seriously.
Sorry, long post. Bee in my bonnet!!

anja I'm not knocking schools: I am quite sure all this extra curricular activity is a nightmare for overstretched teachers who would rather be putting their limited resources into their jobs. They presumably didn't have event planning as a module whilst training for a job in education!

* MissA* I have stood in your shoes.
Wish we lived nearer

It seems like nonsense to me. Graduation means getting a degree as far as I’m concerned, which really is an achievement, or should be.

I really cannot imagine how my son and DIL cope with all the school demands and events, particularly the endless need for costumes, special hats and so on. There’s a lot of baking for cake sales, too. It would have defeated me, I think. I live nowhere near them, so can’t get to things. The other grandparents manage it sometimes, though even they are hardly next door - about two hours away by car.

Yes Granmainoz I completely agree.
Same bees buzzing round my bonnet

Anja No!!!
'Its not a knock the school thread'!
Its about upsetting young children and
Placing unnecessary pressure on parents
and more than likely pressure on teachers with children themselves.
Schools are to educate and nurture children not to make a child different from his classmates.

Anja check out staff room on MN.
See how physically knackered the teachers are.

Read how many are leaving the profession they love because of pressure and stress.

Read how the teachers want to concentrate on teaching the children in their class but are buried under paperwork and attending extra curricular events.