In case anyone is interested, I'm a fat, old Aquarian living in a raupo hut in the foothills of the Waitakere Ranges.
I have no idea what I weigh and care even less but I'm 5ft7ins (that's tall, not round) and my default programme is furiously angry at all times, with a very few moments when I feel calm - if I'm paid enough....and can get hold of that waccy baccy.
I have absolutely no sense of humour; hate all animals except, dogs, cats, donkeys, aardvarks, armadildos, goats, elephants, giraffes, mice, cows, pigs, sheeps and llamas.
I love snakes (although not the human kind) and can just about tolerate alligators as long as they don't talk too much.
My favourite animal is, of course, the shrew.
My mantra is Mens sana in corpore sano which as everyone knows means; "Men in corporate positions have no sense".
I have spent most of my 72 years 11 months reading improving literature (my mother tells me I could read the Telegraph & Argus at 2 years old) and my favourite authors are those two brilliant classicists Mills and Boom.
My bank balance flourishes at a healthy 7/6d.
I play American Football, my position is Offensive Linewoman, what else?
Most of my working life has been spent in corners and behind boxes gossiping.
Sadly, with no one to gossip to this has resulted in a number of personnel officers telling me (quite reluctantly I feel), "We'll have to let you go," but as they failed to tell me exactly where , I spent some time in their carparks fighting with the security men trying to prevcent me doing my gossiping job.
Although come to think of it, that wasn't all bad, quite thrilling in fact. I remember one bloke.....no, best not go into that, he's still in rehab.
I'm an avid recycler so have chosen to leave my body not to science, so passé but to Acme Compost Inc., so in a few years time, I may be the reason your prickly pears flourish and your radishes have bite.