Should I move? I really don't want to. What would you do?

Callistemon, that's strange about the wooden sign. Thank you for your replies.

GrandmaKT, thanks for your good advice.

Well, he's not yours but you know what I mean!

Pippins6133

Callistemon, thanks for your reply. We are doing exactly as you suggest. We hate a bad atmosphere. Fortunately, we have separate entrances. Many thanks.

We were going to rent a flat from an ex-Army high ranking officer when we were first married. It was part of their very nice house but he had an In and Out wooden sign which he wanted us to use to let them know when we were home!
We found somewhere else.

Incidentally, one of DH's friends was an RAF Squadron Leader and he is a lovely man.

Yours sounds rather odd, I must say.

Hi Pippins, sorry I misunderstood your situation. Just to add that if you are considering moving, and if your flat would be suitable for a first-time buyer, now might be a good time to move because of the help given to first time buyers in the budget. Wishing you well

Thanks, BlueBelle, you are exactly right with the 'devil you know' and it's certainly a minefield!

Ahh so that’s cleared the ownership up
If he seems settled then I think I d start looking elsewhere BUT and it’s a big but, sometimes the devil you know and all that, people before now have moved to a lovely place only to have next door sold to someone awful after they have settled in It’s a blooming minefield
I wish you lots of good luck perhaps he ll go to Spain and not come home one trip

Callistemon, thanks for your reply. We are doing exactly as you suggest. We hate a bad atmosphere. Fortunately, we have separate entrances. Many thanks.

You are welcome Pippins
I do feel for you living under those circumstances.

Obviously at the moment it is a bit more tricky to evict problem tenants but very often a stern letter from the letting agent will do the trick.

We had a nightmare tenant who did things to irritate neighbours. We used to get letters of complaint. I did always follow the complaints up. For example I would tell them that it was not fair and, in fact, there was a clause in the deeds to prevent parking outside ones house because it would impede others right of way. It is a small close.
However, if one rents a property out it doesn’t mean that one is responsible for the tenants behaviour so I don’t think that there will be much that your tenants landlord will be able to do to change this mans horrible habits.
I’m not suggesting that you don’t write to the LL but don’t expect too much.
Is this man starting to suffer from dementia or similar? If he is elderly it may be a factor?
I don’t know how much it costs to soundproof but buying and selling is also expensive. If soundproofing is put in retrospectively it may not work. Sound travels I’ve very strange ways.

Pippins6133

Just to add, it’s a private landlord that owns the ground floor so l have no say in who lives there. Thanks for comments so far

Oh, I misunderstood, sorry.

That puts a different light on it and it is a very awkward situation for you.

I would back off from being friendly too but try to retain a polite neighbourliness. He sounds rather odd.

maydonoz, that's a lovely reply. Thank you. We are cooling and avoiding him. Hmmm, maybe I should hold off contacting the owner, then. Thanks.

Hi, JenniferEccles, thanks very much for your reply, that's very interesting. I will try to contact the owner. Thank you.

Hi Pippins
How awful for you and your Dh, it's miserable when you have to put up with a nasty neighbour and you don't have peace and comfort in your own home.
Personally I would cool/avoid any contact with him, don't complain as it could compromise your plans to sell. Quietly maybe you can find a suitable little place for yourselves, then make your move while he's on one of his trips.
Maybe he will be more cautious with his new neighbours.
Good luck with it all and meanwhile just try to stay calm until you decide what you want to do.

I too was under the impression that you owned the house but now I see it’s just your flat.

I think your best bet is to try to contact the landlord, as the tenant could be in breach of his tenancy agreement.

These state that tenants must not cause a nuisance to neighbours (noise and other things) and if problems persist he would be given notice to vacate the property.

Some years back we had a phone call from a neighbour of a property we were renting out to tell us about noise problems with our tenants.

We got on to the letting agents who fired off a letter to the tenants reminding them of the relevant section on noise nuisance in the agreement they signed and things improved.

We phoned the neighbour and she was so grateful that we had intervened.

Hi, EkwaNimitee, yes, I'm aware of that. Sad.
Buffybee, we have looked into soundproofing but it's too expensive for us. Thanks.

I misunderstood that he was your tenant in my original post.
If you don’t want to move, have you thought of having your bedroom floor soundproofed? One of my friends did this when she moved house and could hear the neighbours tv through the wall.
Also, stop being so nice to him, you can be pleasant but stop the airport lifts at least.

I can attest to the fact that a bad neighbour can make life absolutely unbearable. We moved from a house we had lived in for thirty years to get away from one with whom we had had a previous good relationship. It was the best thing we ever did. Chances are he won’t change. Or move out! I hope you get this sorted. It’s horrible.

One word of warning if you do decide to sell up and move, estate agents require a lot of information about your property these days. That includes asking about problems with neighbours. If you make formal complaints about him to his landlord or authorities, you will have to declare them on the form. That won't help your sale. Good luck, you have a horrible problem.

NotSpaghetti, thanks for your reply. Yes, we looked forward to his time away in Spain for some respite. He is divorced and has one daughter (who is estranged from him). We're always looking for property that we could afford but nothing available atm.

Lucca and Calendargirl, we did get on well at first, although we did have our suspicions, but we always like to try to keep things on good terms. We've become aware that he is quite a scheming individual. The snoring, grunting, mucus clearing, banging doors has always been the same since day one.

MaggieTulliver being in a terrace will not necessarily prevent unpleasant neighbours!

I would look at moving, personally.
You don't have to move, obviously, but if something nice came up then why not at least consider it.
Keeping an eye open at least will make you feel there are options.

Spain is ready to re-open so no doubt he will be off soon, then you will have some respite at the very least.

I am also wondering if this is the start of dementia, as others have said. Does he have family? Not that they could do anything at this point though.

We had truly awful neighbours once, but luckily the father was arrested and the house sold. We found that even just looking at other houses made us feel better.

Good luck. I know how it can invade your life.

That’s the problem with living in a flat. You might have someone living below you who played loud music or where there was lots of shouting which could be worse. I used to live in a first floor flat and the woman below me had 30 or so cats who weren’t let out. The smell was horrendous and cat pee used to seep out from under her front door into the shared hallway.

I feel your pain but yes, I’d consider moving. Don’t know your financial situation though and what you could afford. How about a small terraced house?

You are able to look online to find out who his landlord is. Perhaps a word with them about the problem might help - if he is being difficult with you he may be causing his landlord problems as well. If next door are bothered by him they could also contact the landlord.

Do you think his lack of holidays in Spain over the last year have contributed to his behaviour?