I love my parents-in-law very much; they are kind, compassionate and exceedingly modest and self-effacing about their own achievements. Tonight at dinner they mentioned the recent programme on Keir Starmer and said they were disturbed to learn how his father rarely praised him and the negative impact it had on him, and said it had started a train of thought that led them to recognise that perhaps they had done the same. They then asked my husband outright if they had praised him enough when he was a child as they’d spent a couple of nights worrying about it. They also told him they love him very much and they’re very proud of him. It was a very poignant moment and in some ways rather sad as their distress was quite apparent.
Our own children say they had a lovely childhood, and they are certainly re-creating something similar with their own children. They know, absolutely, that they’re loved - and they’ve all, individually, had to deal with traumatic life events and know we’re immensely proud of the way they’ve supported each other in those difficult times. And yet... I can’t help wondering what particular regrets we might have when we look back in years to come.
Are such regrets inevitable do you think?
Kate Garroway-Care at home costs