To see ourselves as others see us! How do you think others see you?

Don’t know you only from here, but would lots be more like you as I know folk accurately see me as I feel sometimes a d that’s. “ lightweight” I’d love to be more active than passive….
I’m a born sheep who will always follow others wait to be told what to do do ……it exasperates me so goodness knows what others feel ?‍♀️

I think there is a disconnection to how I see myself and the way others see me. I see myself as kind, caring, empathetic, non-materialistic and strong (because I've had to be) on the one hand. On the other hand, I am totally lacking in confidence and very anxious and nervous due to life events which has held me back all my life.
I think people who know me understand the way I am. I think people who don't know me so well or don't know my history, think I am kind and caring but also like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

Physically people see a short, plump, old lady. In my head I see a fit, healthy 20-year old. I have been told I appear strong and confident. Inside I’m a bundle of hopes and fears like most people.

Physically yes. I see myself as an old lined (not wrinkled ..I dream of just wrinkled) dumpy person but I have been told otherwise . Eg slim attractive stylish .
Personality wise I come across as confident and a bit scary I know but I’m actually a mass of insecurities !!
The only thing I think in common is I have apparently a good sense of humour

Well..we just don’t know do we? Even those close to us may not always tell us the unvarnished truth ( do we actually want the unvarnished truth?)
Unless we are vain or need new specs I think we can all see how we look physically, personality wise it probably depends on who you are speaking/ dealing with as to how we are perceived.
I don’t think we are ever the same with everybody.
Somebody may appear a battleaxe at work and a pussycat at home.

People see me as competent and coping well after bereavement last year - it is all a front - inside, grief stalks my every waking moment. But what is the point in inflicting that on others? - so the act continues..........

Not sure I want to know. We all have perceptions about ourselves that may not be accurate.
I have been described as emotionally strong, brave, kind, quiet by different people.
I think I just get on with whatever life throws at me as that is all I can do.

My sympathies Luckygirl3 I too am widowed and wouldn't dream of sharing my occasional despair.

As for how others see me - isn't that something that younger people worry about? I feel that as long as I do my best it doesn't matter what others think - I might have tied myself up in knots about it when I was younger but at my age I've made peace with the fact that not everyone will like me and that's all right.

I really don’t want to know how others see me. It would inevitably bear no resemblance to how I see myself and chances are that different people focus on different aspects. The people who matter know me well enough and keep their opinions mostly to themselves

Lemongrove thats not strictly true,I have had body issues my whole life been a size6 and a size 14 and when I look in a mirror I cant see any difference .I know my clothes are smaller but all I see is a wee fat woman .Legacy from an image concious mother who told me I looked fat in my size 8 dress on my wedding day ....and thousands of other times .Now when I look at old photos I see myself very differently from I did back then.Sadly the mirror is still the same it the wee fat woman who looks back

paddyann54. Hear hear. My doctor friend has told me that I have body dysmorphia. So not vain or in need of new glasses.

lemongrove I think you make an interesting point about people not behaving the same with everybody. Of course everyone can have an occasional moment when they act out of character, but I do know people whose behaviour can change depending on who they're with.

I don't know. It's odd. I think I'm bossy, unfriendly and grumpy. This is confirmed by my DD and my bloke.

And yet. I have no problem making friends. People seem to like me and I don't know why. Where ever I work, I collect friends who stay in touch with me.

Probably that I'm loud, funny and passionate with a tendency to be tactless. Pretty much how I see me.

My daughter told me her friends think I’m scary ? I’ll take that.
She’s always telling my granddaughter not to argue or get lippy with nana because you won’t win. ? She’s right there.

Gagajo Your post struck a cord with me. As well as all my faults listed above, I am miserable and unhappy. I too have lots of ex colleagues who keep in touch regularly.

I think that the people that come across me think that I am capable, organised and can make things happen.
I only wish I had their confidence.??‍♀️

I am seen as jolly and good for a laugh. I'm not, it's all put on as a way of coping in company. What I am really is a loner who doesn't really enjoy socialising. I am only fully relaxed on my own reading in silence.

I am confident, find it easy chatting with new acquaintances and am lucky in that I have many friends - both here and in Spain (my half & half life). I like to think I’m self aware and mindful of how people are feeling. I listen properly, concentrate and can then remember details of family members and where they are up to in my friend’s lives.

But I hate confrontation. For instance I like all my family to get on well together and it upsets me whenever there is (occasional) discord. I am rubbish at speaking up (in a queue for example if someone pushes in) as it embarrasses me. I don’t know why this is so, considering I’m confident?

Well there's a thought. IMO I have always cared and supported family and friends. Yet have been treated very badly by both. so I guess these people certainly never saw me as I saw myself.

My friends tell me Im a leader, quietly confident, easy to approach and able to sort out problems. Im really not I worry about everything. I dont regognised that in myself.
My family know me better and say I need to speak up and be heard im a follower. They're right.
Give me a book, a quiet room and im happy.

A neighbour recently told me that when she first met me (17 years ago) she knew I was self-assured. How wrong she's been all these years - I worry about most things, over-think everything, analyse every conversation. I obviously hide it well.

Sounds exactly like ne

I am a kind, soft hearted person who always thinks of everyone else before myself. I hurt easily and tend to take everything personally