My friend is a right wing racist

Oh, dear. I expect she will take the hint eventually. I usually find it best to avoid politics in general conversation.... ever since Brexit....

If you want to keep her friendship (do you?) can I suggest you say firmly that politics are off the menu. I was brought up that politics, religion and personal finances were no go areas if it was going to upset anyone. So you are happy to see her but if she strays into politics - just firmly remind her that the conversation will cease. Then its up to her.

I think you are right to steer clear of her.

Yes- we are steering clear of some people, including family. I can agree to disagree over Brexit- although it it getting harder by the day. But sheer and blatant racism, no- no longer.

I would avoid her.
Pizza toppings is an option that I can debate with others and not have any falling out over.

Human rights are not.

I m afraid friendship and racism cannot ever go in the same sentence for me so she would have gone as soon as I knew she was a racist
You can forgive her being stupid or being politically oppose to your beliefs but racism is unforgivable and she would be off my radar completely Indeed I found out a school friend was racist by her Facebook comments and she is gone absolutely no room in my head or heart for someone with those views just gone full stop

You could attempt to enlighten her with good arguments and factual information, but if she is, as seems likely, brainwashed, it won't work.

If you do decide to cut off contact, I suggest a no holds barred last message to her before you never speak again.

I had a similar dilemma a while ago. I decided to take the 'Remain friends but explain how I felt when cornered.' That lasted a month or so then I couldn't stand it anymore.

I do have another right wing friend. She badly upset a mutual African American friend with a tactless comment. She was big enough to back down from it and apologize. They're still friends. But she's a very Christian lady. She has a real faith, as opposed to just being a church goer. I accept her politics are different to mine. We just don't ever discuss them.

You have been friends with this person for a long time. Do you think her comments are exacerbated by tension about the forthcoming election, and that after the result, whatever it is, she may return to being the person you once liked?
I would give it a few weeks more before you sever all connections.

I think you have to be tough & pick up the receiver , cut off the call & leave the receiver off the hook. You can do it. Best wishes

I think that right wing racism must colour almost everything that she believes in, I’m not sure how you can find anything to talk about.

Delete her from your WhatsApp if you wish. Put your phone on silent so that it doesn’t annoy you.

It sounds like a difficult situation. At least your friend lives in a different country from you, so you’re unlikely to meet her in the local supermarket. I would tell her that you don’t want to discuss politics with her, but if that doesn’t work I think you may need to drop her. It maybe the only solution for you.

Why on earth does her feelings about Trump come into any thing. From my experience a Republican is a Republican and even if attached to a donkey would still be voted in as P.

Is she really a friend or someone you have known a long time and went to school with? Do what J52 advises - what on earth does she bring positively to your life?

I think you should keep her as a friend and whenever politics comes up you should put your views across and make her see that her views are wrong.

grannyrebel7

I think you should keep her as a friend and whenever politics comes up you should put your views across and make her see that her views are wrong.

I don’t think it’s up to the OP to ‘make her see her views are wrong’ they are not wrong to her however much she disagrees. My neighbour is a Labour supporter I am not yet we get on like a house on fire. Keep politics out of friendship is my advice.

Racism is not politics- there are NO comparisons whatsoever. Links perhaps.

I sometimes think I am a right wing racist when I hear of people being beheaded and other times I love the world when I read the poet Rumi. He asked what is hatred. Worth reading but I wish more ignorant young men had read him.

I have a friend who is very right wing (she likes Farage). By mutual agreement we stay away from politics we have other things in common. Perhaps you could tell your friend that you value her friendship but you really can't agree with her politics and would prefer her not to raise the matter again because it upsets you. If she continues to harrass you she isn't being a friend, then you should cut ties with her.

I can, and have had to, avoid Brexit conversations with those people I know who voted for leaving, although it is getting harder as the approaching catastrophe gets nearer, but I do accept that they made their decision, as did I, after evaluating and deciding what was best. But, racism is never ever acceptable and I would not be prepared to stay friends wit someone whose life views are so different to my own. By not calling her out on her views, by continuing to be 'friends' with this person you are accepting and thus condoning her vile views.

how can you be friends with a racist.
just send her an email saying that.
that you cannot be friends with a racist, and that to continue to be in contact would feel like colluding in something you find morally repugnant and plain wrong.
wish her well and say goodbye.

What welbeck says, exactly.

Even if you manage to stop politacal conversation and stop racist remarks in conversation you still have a friend who "bombards" you if you don't answer calls...

That's not ok, nothing about her is someone you need to have contact with.