You never hear of a bossy boy

Never thought about it before but I think you're right Lucca.

Now you say it yes, I have a bossy 3yr old GrtGD, she likes to organise activities at nursery and even corrects the staff when they do something differently. We’d probably say a boy was ‘confident’ if he did the same, so wrong.

No, some of my nephews are very bossy! However, I don’t think there’s a male equivalent of ‘proper little madam’ or ‘drama Queen’. It cracked me up hearing a little great niece refer to one of her male cousins as a drama queen.

Boys are natural leaders, while assertive girls are bossy. Go figure.

Absent,

Exactly

I'd like to introduce you to my 4 year old GS. The word "bossy" was invented with him in mind. And he's frequently told to stop being so bossy.

Sorry not made myself clear maybe. We decided to stop using “bossy”!
It’s a bit like the double standard of “nagging”. If I asked exH to do something more than once I was nagging, if he did the same (and believe you me he was very controlling !) it was “just telling you for your own good”.

Ah, I think the title confused me! Yes, there is very muca double standard.

I once heard a guy at work describe me as ‘scary’. I told him he was easily frightened. Giving instructions and seeing they were carried out was part of my job.

Much a, not muca.

Yes, "bossy girl" - "strong confident personality boy"

It wouldn't be so bad if 'bossy' didn't have negative connotations. Our 3 year old granddaughter is an organiser , like many little girls, elbows out she'll wade in to sort things out.
'Drama Queen' though does seem to have transgressed gender and apply equally
This has to be a Good Thing

Patriarchal thinking is imbibed from a young age.
Men are natural born leaders.
Woman are bossy shrews.

When my boys were young and I took them to play groups, the types where the mums stayed and had a coffee. It seemed to me that never a week went by without some girl coming up to say "he can't do that, he's not allowed on that, he's not doing that right", at that time it got on my nerves so much so, I was inclined to say under my breath to all these assertive young female children "why don't you mind your own business" which generally took the wind out of their sails.

Before my younger son went into his school nursery, he went to a private one a couple of mornings a week that appeared to be run by two four year old girls. So adept were they at organising all the younger children the woman who ran it, and bearing in mind they were both blonde, referred to them as "the valkyries" all they seemed to be missing were a couple of horned helmets !

My granddaughter was of a very positive nature when she was a very little girl, but less so as she's got older. Her younger brother however, does like to issue his own edicts at times of a very sexist nature such as you can't play with cars because you're a girl. I don't take exception to his chauvinism because that lets me out having to scrabble around on the floor, and more importantly he thinks of me, mid 60s, as a girl So it's a bit of a win win situation as far as I'm concerned.

I'm going to be very careful how I put this Terribull....

Do you think your GD's declining positivity could have something to do with her brother issuing orders about what you are all allowed to do, and being let off with that?

And if I thought women in charge of little girls were referring to them as valkyries because of their leadership skills, I'd be having a word.

No Alegrias I don't, she can still give as good as she gets and believe me she does have the upper hand in that relationship being the eldest. I just remember her as quite bolshie when she was under 5, she's not like that anymore, or not with us at least. He, my grandson is a lovely little boy and is always happy to read to me when I ask and play other games such as "Jenga" or "Cat Bingo" but has set idea along the lines of who plays with traditional male toys.

I'm going back well over 25 years as to the "kindergarten Valykeries" the woman who ran that nursery was quite unorthodox but the children were very happy with her.

My daughter’s not bossy - she’s just demonstrating her leadership skills.

OK, thanks for replying TerriBull, I'm sure you can see where I'm coming from.

PaperMonster

My daughter’s not bossy - she’s just demonstrating her leadership skills.

Yes but the point is she might be called bossy whereas a boy would not.

Weirdly, only yesterday DD was asking why I didn't question it when similar descriptions were assigned to her between the ages of 3 and 18? I did apologise.

Hithere

Absent,

Exactly

100%.

Just another example of casual sexism

TerriBull

No Alegrias I don't, she can still give as good as she gets and believe me she does have the upper hand in that relationship being the eldest. I just remember her as quite bolshie when she was under 5, she's not like that anymore, or not with us at least. He, my grandson is a lovely little boy and is always happy to read to me when I ask and play other games such as "Jenga" or "Cat Bingo" but has set idea along the lines of who plays with traditional male toys.

I'm going back well over 25 years as to the "kindergarten Valykeries" the woman who ran that nursery was quite unorthodox but the children were very happy with her.

I’m sorry Terri, but with these descriptions it jumps off the page how you feel about assertive girls, and seem to prefer boys. It’s one thing to prefer boys, but I think it was quite unkind to take the wind out of the sails of those little girls!

Men are assertive, women are aggressive.
Girls are bossy, boys are demonstrating leadership skills.
Men speak deeply and forthrightly, women shriek.
However women nag, men control.
As you can see I haven’t given this much thought Til now but it’s an interesting subject and you’re right Lucca it needs to change.

That goodness that kind of practice doesn't happen in any of the early years settings I go into. All the early years practitioners I work with would be horrified.

COVID update. Just listened to news at 10! PM states that all restrictions COULD BE lifted by Easter! Am I the only one who is not surprised?

Sorry meant to start a new post