We have a very good relationship with our son and DIL, and also her parents (until now), and we have recently become grandparents. Both sets of parents have spent past Christmases taking it in turns to host Christmas day and this year it wasn't our turn to host, so we were very much looking forward to being able to relax on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and spending time with our grandchild (my husband has a very stressful job and works long hours, with not much time off over Xmas ... DILs parents no longer work, so have plenty of time to relax and enjoy their new grandchild). Our son and DIL live a long way from us all, and will base themselves at her parents home over the holiday period. Her mother contacted me a few weeks ago to say that, even though it was her 'turn' to host, she'd decided that it absolutely wouldn't be possible for her to do it this year, due to lack of space because of all the extra baby equipment in the house, and asked if I would host it again this year (son says there's not actually that much equipment in the way, a baby bouncer chair, maybe). If I wasn't happy with that, she said that one of the options would be for us to have separate Christmases, which no one would really want. However, she was adamant that there was no way she was going to do it. My husband and I were quite annoyed and thought it a little selfish of her, but not wanting to spoil Christmas for everyone, we agreed to go ahead and do it, and were even looking forward to having our grandchild's first Christmas in our home. Fast forward to this week, by which time I have spent planning the day/menu, bought/ordered the turkey, ham, sausage meat for stuffing, chipolatas, xmas pudding, crackers (pretty much everything apart from the fresh veg) ... I've now had a visit from her to say that after discussing with my DIL, she actually could manage to do it afterall!! And because she feels it would be easier/more relaxing for my DIL to have it at her house (DIL has had a bit of bad back recently). She also said that her daughter is the only one she cares about, and that this xmas is all about her apparently ... no mention of my son for whom this is his first xmas as a daddy, or our shared grandchild. Frankly, I became rather upset and then angry, as I feel I've been a little manipulated to suit someone else's preferences. I'm generally a very easy going, laid back and caring person, and my DILs mother does have a tendency to be bossy (by her own admission), and doesn't like it when she doesn't get her own way. My son had words with his wife, and he told her she should have discussed this with him, and it's not fair on us. They have decided between them that Xmas day will remain at our place, and he also told his MIL that I'm upset because I feel I'm being messed around, and he doesn't agree with it either. My DIL apologized to me, and said she would still love to come to us for Xmas day, and she's sorry for any upset. Incidentally, we live very close to her parents and my son & DIL are also spending some time with us, and we too have a house full of baby equipment. They also have a bedroom here, and a cot for baby too, so things are not particularly difficult. And I certainly would never have considered not hosting at our house if they were based here. However, it seems that DILs mother is very angry/upset with me (I may also have said one or two things she didn't like, but not without reason), and she hasn't spoken to me since. She didn't even acknowledge me when I had to stop my car for her to pass! This is going to cause a very awkward/uncomfortable atmosphere for xmas day, which I really don't want, but I have no idea how to rectify the problem. I don't get angry very often, and I've even begun to doubt myself, and think perhaps I've over reacted ...? What do others think? Any suggestions that might help this awful situation, which should be a very happy time for us all!
COUNTRY, CITY, AREA, PLACE -Game 21
