Hi everyone,
This is my first post and I am so grateful to have found you. I’ve been feeling like I’m going mad trying to resolve a maddening issue. I am afraid to explain will be rather a long post but I am hoping that you will bear with me and help.I have 4 grandchildren- 2 biological and 2 step.I have always treated them the same. Same sweets, same presents, same money spent etc.I have also offered identical support to all with regards to babysitting, sleepovers at mine, help in school holidays etc.My son’s eldest child is 4 and I see him as much as he wants and he can always stay. His mum who is my son’s ex partner and I get on really well and she has never stopped me from seeing him ever.She drops and picks him up from my house 99% of the time as she can drive, she also works( this will become important later). My daughter has a stepson, again there is no restriction on the time he spends with me either.My son is in a relationship with the woman (who I’ll call P for briefness)he cheated on my eldest grandson’s mother with her and they now have 2 children, my step GD and my youngest bio GS.I am married with a demanding job and doing a degree with the OU so my spare time is precious So the scene is now set for you.P was welcomed into our family but has always sat on the sidelines declining to join in no matter how much encouragement was given.I have taken her for meals and asked her to my home on numerous occasions to try to build a good relationship with her.I thought our relationship was stable and cordial but I have gradually discovered that unless you can solely focus on constantly reassuring P and doing as she wants then you “ don’t care”.P has made it difficult for me to see my GS ever since he was born to the point that I am now so fed up
of walking on eggshells trying not to offend her that I am ready to give up.Everything has to be on her terms or she makes life miserable for my son. She is a control freak and openly admits this.She neither works nor drives and has got it into her head that I see my son’s eldest much more than I do and that I collect him at all hours and favour him.She thinks I visit him at my son’s ex’s house too.When I ask to see her children they are always busy with her family which I don’t have an issue with but if I cannot do the date that is convenient for her then others are told I’m not making the effort! Then the FB memes will start - for example “ It’s sad when grandparents bother with everyone-else’s children but not yours”. She will tell anyone that’ll listen that I haven’t seen her children yet will not answer the phone to me or more recently answer text messages asking for contact. I love all my grandchildren but have not been allowed to build a strong bond with her children.I do not enjoy drama so if she wants no contact then that is fine but the lying about it is driving me mad. How do I stop her making out that I don’t bother when the truth is that she makes it as difficult as possible. She never has a good word to say about her mother of stepmother when she does talk to me but is on FB ramming it home at how wonderful they are.She seems a complete fantasist believing what she wants to rather than facts.I am seeing less and less of my son and so is his eldest.I have asked why I can’t have the children and I am told” well I didn’t have my children to palm them off on someone- else!” A dig at my daughter and my son’s ex but P’s eldest is allowed to go to P’s Nan’s for a week at a time. If we are at a family event my son’s eldest will invariably want to come home to stay with me and P will text his Mum to find out if that occurs. I just don’t get it I offered to have her kids too but she said no.I have behaved exactly the same way to all my grandchildren, she has been offered the same amount of time and money as the others but refused it then wants to make out I don’t bother on social media- am I overreacting?I’m not going to keep flogging a dead horse, I’m way too old for manipulative games and tantrums that work on my son-I feel frustrated she cannot seem to grasp that the no contact situation is her doing not mine and I could live with it if I knew P would tell the truth to the grandchildren but I know she won’t. Thank you for sticking with it until the end- what would others do in my position?
Angela Rayner lashes out and calls Sunak “pint sized loser”.
Elderly fellow gran has become loudly racist