I was a regular here a few years ago when we were estranged from our grandchildren. After DS separated from his wife that ended, and we now have a good relationship with him and the children, but I do feel that estrangement is a wound that never quite heals.
For us, estrangement came out of the blue - we had spent a happy day with them, but when we got home there was a phonecall saying DIL wasn`t going to see us again and a 5 year nightmare began. I think this made me realise how quickly things can go wrong and now even very minor disagreements send me into a panic and I do all I can to smooth things over.
The other big thing I am experiencing now is that my daughter has a one year old. We see lots of him and he is a delight but as I watch him go through all of his little milestones I am reminded of how much we missed with the others and that does make me sad. I never saw them crawl, or learn to walk, or start chattering etc etc - and when I see him do these things it does feel very much as if he is our first grandchild - which actually feels quite disrespectful to the lad who really did come first.
I`m not asking anyone to feel sorry for me - I do realise how lucky I am compared to many of you. I just think that when you have been through such a terrible time, it is always just lurking in the background
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