My NM and brother after estrangement always said they would find my children one day and "tell them the truth". My eldest child is about to turn 21 which was the accepted time of becoming an adult in my house growing up.
I've wondered a lot what this truth could be. I wondered if part of it could be the sexual abuse. My NM never believed it happened to me but used to like to bring it up to hurt me. What if this is the "truth" and it will be used to explain why I might be crazy and have estranged "wonderful" parents for no reason? My children don't know about this and it is a burden I never ever wanted them to carry. A good friend has recommended telling oldest child but I don't think I can ever do that. What if NM tells this truth for me?
I'm also having heart surgery very soon. It's not a massively invasive procedure and the outlook is good but it got me wondering about my own mortality. As far as I am concerned my NM is dangerous and not to be trusted around my children. Would it be acceptable to write my children a letter stating my side of the story incase the worst happens? If their grandmother and uncle reach out to them in the future should I let my children make their own decisions there or should they be pre-warned and armed against abusive people by letter? Or should I trust that the older who remember will protect the younger?
I don't know when I will be able to come back and see any replies but I will when I can.
Good Morning Tuesday 23rd April St Georges Day