Estrangement is just sad. I wouldn't be in this situation if I could just get NM to really hear me. The first few times things were headed south, there were tiny breakthroughs where I saw the real person underneath and she became quite vulnerable, then the msk went back on even stronger than before. At the end though I think all the lies she told to other family caught up to her and she just became a brick wall. Or bricked herself into a corner I suppose. I feel like there was a time when if she had just stopped, it would have been OK. She could have undone the damage. The person I was then. I would probably have taken the blame for her and been the reformed one who previously had the problem, just to keep the relationship. It was the lies to cover her escalating treatment of me that destroyed any chance. I'd have had to be a monster to fix it. I've become a person who absolutely hates lying as a result and I literally can't do it. Even white lies. Maybe except Santa etc lol
I do wonder if somewhere that vulnerable person is underneath, knowing the truth but maintaining the mask stops her from ever truly moving on and she will be stuck that way till she dies, lying to herself.