Grandparents to adopted children

A great idea! Good luck with organising a local meet-up Wallygrom - hope it happens and starts connecting people

Thank you NannaAnna - I think quite often grandparents do have a different relationship with adopted grandchildren and problems that arise out of adoption for all concerned can be worrying. The Adoption Social are brilliant at supporting parents with adopted children and are happy to extend this to grandparents too. I hope we can get some meet ups sorted across the country via The Adoption Social if it helps people and for children also to meet up.

Sorry - I wouldn't dream of getting involved in this. Why on earth would you single out adopted grand/children in this way? Where would I fit in, given that 2 of my 3 adult children are adopted and 1 has produced 4 GC's? Does this concept of being different carry over to the next generation? I'm too busy being gran to them to go off with other people to talk about them.
If families are having problems or concerns then of course there should be support but if there are no issues around the adoption, then why indulge in unnecessary navel-gazing?

My two younger grandchildren are adopted, and very much loved. I have the feeling that my son and his wife would not wish me, or themselves, to get involved in something which made the children feel 'different' in any way.
Maybe it's a good idea for some, but not for my family I think.

I am not sure about this either way.

It may be that adopted or fostered children do feel different however settled they are, particularly with regard for children who are adopted at an older age than average.

I would be in favour of this idea, not to single out adopted children, but just to meet and share the joys and difficulties which can arise. I have an adopted Grandson ,who is showing some behaviour problems, very probably genetic, which resulted in me being kicked, punched, spat at and called names when I babysat last week. I still love him as much as my 'natural' granddaughters, but this is hard to take, He is basically a bright, loving child, but these behaviour problems are worrying for his parents and grandparents . It would be good to be able to discuss this with other 'Adoptive' families.

That must have been terribly upsetting, Trendygran. But it can happen with natural grandchildren too - our oldest was very confused when his Dad and I had fallen out, he had a new step-Dad, swore at them etc. They never got over it, though I felt they could have made allowances.
Perhaps your grandson was confused too, though as you say maybe genetics play a part.
Our second son and his wife are adopting 4 Indian children and I've visited a few times, and there were no problems, but I think they realise that I'm not their real Granny, just "Dad's" Mum. They know their own parents couldn't keep them, or had died.

ps sorry I can't join the group, I live abroad.
It sounds an excellent idea.

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Sorry , touchy subject for me

My GS is in foster care and this upsets me the thought of his foster carer getting together with others when there is NO face to face support for a Grandparent almost falling apart due to the pain of separation from their blood Grandchild , it is the most awful situation to be in

There are general 'carers' groups , but to be honest , it is out of my hands the foster carer is free to do whatever she wants with my GS , take him wherever she wants I of course have no say in it all I can say is it hurts like hell