Hi - As many of you know I have been caring for my Grandson with special needs full time for about 4 months and so FAR it has been going really well!
He is so happy and secure now but this weekend has been the WORST time since he got here!!
My stress levels have been at their worst and it is awful to see him so unsettled again ... What seems to have triggered it is a lot of confusion over his Mum and contact visits etc , she has missed SIX OUT OF SEVEN contact visits over the last 7 weeks in a row
Usually she lets me know in time , although we have been halfway there before and THIS time we were at the contact centre and she did not show or let us know and little one was disorientated , so we played together in the usual room for the usual time but then AFTERWARDS his behaviour took a turn for the worse and I have had the weekend from hell with him
Due to his Autism he cannot tell me how he feels so I asked him if he was upset because Mummy didn't come to contact and he just said ''bye bye Mummy'' which he has been saying recently due to not seeing her for so long to the point he usually does NOT even want to go to contact at present and seems relieved when she cancels and just happily gets on with his day but this weekend was different , it really ''threw'' him and he has been refusing to go to bed or get in the bath or go to school tomorrow has been more insecure and grumpy and 'difficult' than usual and is like a completely different child since Saturday
Obviously he has mixed feelings about his Mum BUT I can't take the way this has made him feel and complete DISRUPTION it has caused us as a family as he was doing so well and this is a complete step backwards
I stayed longer with him at bedtime tonight to give him extra kisses and cuddles to help make him feel secure and happy again but he did not settle off to sleep as peacefully and happily as he usually does and I have a feeling I will have big trouble with him in the morning getting him ready for school
I know his behaviour is due to the EMOTIONAL impact to what is going on re contact and I have sent the SW 2 e-mails asking her to contact me as I had already asked her to reduce it to once a month as that is all his Mum seems to be able to ( just about ) manage at the moment as she is highly struggling with her alcoholism and definitely needs some extra help but what about little man and the IMPACT all this is having on him plus the FALL OUT I have to endure / try and deal with the absolute best I can which is still DIFFICULT as it has been the worst weekend ever since he got here and I DO NOT want it to keep happening once he goes back to being happy and secure again and I did make this clear to the SW but it doesn't really help me cope with things as they ARE as it has been a hellish weekend for both of us and even the DOG who was whimpering outside my GS's bedroom tonight as he can SENSE there is something wrong / my GS is unsettled as they are very close and dogs are very sensitive but even the dog was playing up this weekend and joining in with things as he just joined in with the atmosphere and didn't help things by eating my GS's banana I had saved for his dessert with custard which he LOVES and it was the last banana so MORE meltdowns then on top of the other ones , one after the other plus doesn't want to go to school tomorrow but he has been so amazingly well behaved up till now due to being so settled and sad as it is he is now PLEASED when his Mum cancels contact and yet when it was regular he did look forward to seeing her of course so is so confused and unsettled but he needs some CONSISTENCY in his life and even the contact centre manager is surprised this has been allowed to go on for 7 weeks now as the SW is fully aware of it as gets all the reports plus I update her but it is having a NEGATIVE affect on lo and ME now and the whole atmosphere in the home which even the dog is picking up on , so I could do with some support please :-( x
New house and a sloping garden
Lasr two letters continued Jan 24