I don’t know what to do, I have 2 grandson’s, 6 years ago there dad physically abused them.

My heart goes out to you, it must be so stressful. If it was me I would encourage the eldest boy to speak up and say at some point they will believe you. Please keep on to Social Services, the police and everyone at some time help will come.

We have told the social workers but we were told we were being biased because we don’t like there dad.
We have copies of letters and emails we have sent to Social Service we also have recordings of the meetings.
The one social Service person told me and my husband “I have been doing this job for 35 years and I can honestly say how much he loves his children.
What chance does anyone have with that

Take the child to a and e. They will keep detailed records. Sometimes a child will say something to a doctor or nurse in passing. Even if he doesn't say anything the record of the injuries will be there and then if, God forbid, he is attacked again, your DD will have evidence of previous injuries. The police must also have the video evidence of the original assaults in their files. I wonder if your daughter could get a copy under the Freedom of Information Act. It won't help on this occasion but I think it might be worthwhile collecting and collating whatever evidence exists as it may be useful at a later date.

Has he ever attacked your daughter? Does she have records of bruises etc? If so, put them with the information.

Keep a diary of all incidents even minor threats (if such a thing exists but I hope you know that I mean). Keep every text message and every email. Record every phone call.

Set up cameras in the house (they don't have to be visible). They will record everything he does in your DD's house including how he speaks to and treats the children and your DD.

Sadly I've heard this type of comment from social workers. DH reported concerns about one of his children being inappropriately touched and groomed by her grandmother's partner. He had evidence of the grooming in the form of emails and WhatsApp messages. Despite this he was told that if he insisted on saying such things they (social services) would make sure that he would lose all access to his daughter and son. He couldn't take that risk so stopped complaining even though the inappropriate behaviour continued.

I have just read your forum message and I am appalled at the way your family are being treated, surely if your daughter called social services and reported this latest incident that they would have to act upon it.

I think the advice that Vampirequeen has given you is brilliant in this case,

Everything that Vampirequeen has said, but am I misreading this ?
Why does your daughter let him back in?
Can’t she Change the locks and keep him out , has she filed for divorce? Or a restraining order?

I will reply to your msg Vampirequeen.
Oopsadaisy3, she didn’t she answered the door not knowing who it was, he barged past her and went to our grandsons bedroom.
He doesn’t have a key, she’s not married to him.
If she did get a Restraining order, it would make things worse
But I must say again, they are terrified of him. If he can’t do something he will get someone else to.

I think a door grille or at least a very strong door chain is required. I also like the idea of cameras in the house, just in case. She must phone 999 if he turns up.

Vampirequeen
I will tell my daughter about the Freedom of information act.
Yes he has attacked her but she’s never gone to the police
We have all the copies of emails and letters and recordings of meetings.
I will talk to her about keeping a diary, we have kept records of the incidents we know about.
Thank you for your input

Spuddy2011
Social services are no longer involved because of his age. He is not a small child, but isn’t classed as an adult.
I can’t stress enough what there dad is like he’s told both lads that when there 18 he’s going to beat them up.

Hetty58
I think a grille and or a strong door chain also cameras are a very good idea.
I will pass this on to her.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I'd suggest that your daughter speaks to Women's Aid, perhaps Victim Support too.
The family are being subjected to abuse and your daughter needs help and support to protect not only her but her children.
I'm surprised the CPS dropped the case as normally they will push for prosecution even without the agreement of the victim.
You could ask for a review of the decision or your daughter could?

Are you a new poster Madhatter ?

Elaine1
It might not sound true to you.
I wish I had made it up, you should try living through it.
If you could remember where you have read this before please let me know so I can speak to them and they could tell me how to deal with it.

Dee1012
I will speak to my daughter today,
We didn’t know about a review on the decision I will definitely look into that.
Thank you

BlueBelle
Yes I am.
This is the first time I’ve ever posted anything

I would check the police complaints procedure and start a formal complaint.

Get her to write a letter to her MP.

Like others have said I would contact women’s aid.

This an awful situation and I would be asking to speak to someone senior at Social Services.

I was responsible for Child Protection in a Secondary School ( retired two years) and had many dealings with SS who took physical assaults on pupils up to age 16 very seriously, especially if there was photographic evidence.

Do not accept their response regarding the age of your grandchildren if they are under 16. I don't know the situation for older teenagers as our pupils left at age 16.

How old are your grandsons Madhatter? it’s hard to understand how every service is turning their backs on two children and a frightened mother They are usually very very onboard with physical abuse it’s mental abuse that is so hard to get taken seriously

I don't understand why your daughter doesn't go to court and get a restraining order, alternatively why doesn't she move house and not let him know where she is? Eiher there is more going on here than you have said or there is something she isn't telling you.

There is a new domestic abuse act going through parliament at the moment. The police are now taking things like this very seriously - they realise that not only wives/partners are victims Things are changing, I can only encourage your DD and DGS to persevere.

If you search the CPS website, look for the "Victims Right to Review", from the details you have given, I'm pretty sure this would fit the category.
Victim support can also usually help with safety issues ie chains and grills for the home.

Firstly, take your grandson straight to A & E every time it happens. The staff have a duty of care and social workers will take it more seriously. Also, do not be scared to make a formal complaint to social work if you feel the social worker is not taking it serious. Engage a solicitor for a restraining order on all your grandchildren. They may be entitled to legal aid in their own right depending on age. If there is a domestic violence unit in the area ask them to install alarms and a panic button which can be linked to the police station. Women's aid would be very useful as they will know where to access help for you too. They also may be able to offer counselling for mum and grandsons for trauma. My advice is report, report, report and take photos of injuries and keep a diary. You may feel put down by this social workers comments but keep reporting regardless. to police, medical staff, GP And womens aid. Can this child speak up for himself at solicitor? Get help before this dangerous man causes any more injuries.