Right or wrong.

Of course you weren't wrong to say you had plans. Your son did back down later though and presumably was stressed in the morning,so I would be inclined to forget this.

You are not wrong in taking time for yourself and saying no.

I trust you got a proper apology.
His child....his problem.
He is very lucky you do the child care you already do.
If he throws another tantrum like this you need to reconsider the entire arrangement.

Your son is wrong. You don't have to be at his beck and call and are allowed to have an outing. You do a lot for them already. Your son can take an uber or taxi if he doesn't have his own transport. 100% on your side here.

He is a rude man and you have your own life to lead. You did your bit raising your own children, he has to take responsibility for his. I hope he has apologised to you because he owes you one. You sound like a lovely, caring grandma and he is so lucky to have you. Not worth falling out over but stick to your guns !

Your son is wrong - you are the Grand parents- and surely a child wants it's parents when they're ill.
Hope he's calmed down x

Was there any reason why he couldn't take his two kids to the doctor?

You have the right to decide what to do with your own time.

you are not his staff.
he needs to have contingency plans; get a taxi, or ask friends or neighbours to drive them to doctors.
anyway, with a tummy problem it's usually advisable to isolate.
perhaps you do too much for them with childcare, and they've started to take you and your services for granted.

I may be completely off the mark but I wondered if your OH is DS’s father? DS is being unreasonable and may be upset that you prioritised OH over himself and his family. Having said that you were absolutely right to stick to your guns. You could have stayed in all day and not been needed. I agree with Cafe that he should take a taxi if necessary.

Crikey - how dare your son act that way? I'd be very annoyed with him. No car - get a cab!

Fleur20 is correct - his child, his problem. We help when we can and you should not be at their beck and call.

You are not in the wrong. Many of us didn’t have Grandparents on tap to look after our children at the drop of a hat.
We managed and either took time off work, got taxis or had a plan B in place.

You are not in the wrong.

As Wellbeck so rightly said - you are not his staff.

His children and his responsibility.

How dare he speak to you in this manner. I am angry to think that adult children are so entitled.

Grandmabatty

Of course you weren't wrong to say you had plans. Your son did back down later though and presumably was stressed in the morning,so I would be inclined to forget this.

I can’t see anything in the OP about him backing down, Grandmabatty.

I can only agree with others on here - your DS is out of order and welbeck puts it so well - You are not his staff.

just woke up,
Yes, OH is not his father ( his real father passed away many years ago ) , so what you mentioned is probably correct.

I also agree with that expression you are not his staff . You are entitled to a pleasant day out . It’s surprising how quickly kind offers of help become routine and taken for granted. Hope you managed to enjoy your day after that !

Wow. His audacity and entitlement is very very overinflated honestly I would call him and read him the riot act. Put him in his place.

Let him know that their very privileged and comfortable childcare arrangement is solely by your kindness and good grace. And should it not be appreciated he can shove it where the sun doesn't shine.

Another entitled adult child.
Tell him to get a taxi.

I hope you had a nice day out, and I hope on the way you went round and gave as you as you got! You didn’t deserve that and if you don’t get an apology, pull the shutters down on the rest of your commitment to them until he shows some contrition.

Do hope you has a lovely day out.
Problem can become that the more you do to help adult children, the more you are expected to do. So your son, is just seeing you as always there whenever he feels he has need of you.
You need to make it very, very clear that, although you are happy to help out on occasions, you and your OH have your own lives to lead - and, except in real major emergencies - that takes priority.
I had a friend who always dropped any arrangement if one of her AC suddenly needed her help. Result was that she ended up with very few friends of her own, and no life of her own. Not appreciated at all by AC. They were always nicer and politer to me than they were to her.
The occasional 'Sorry - no can do', is an excellent reminder that you have done your part in child-rearing and are now carrying on with you life. Their children, their responsibilities.

I know who the selfish one is here Edge26 and it’s not you. Your son acted like a spoilt child. He was totally wrong. It does sound like he is jealous of your dh and all his resentment spilled out. I hope it didn’t spoil your day out too much. We all want to help our children even when they are grown up but they must accept we are entitled to lives of our own, and they must live up to their own responsibilities.

I agree with Franbern you cannot and should not be available at the drop of a hat to help out, you do have your own life Edge . When things have settled down its time to have a chat with your son and clarify exactly what you are prepared to do.

I got the message very early on from my DML your child your responsibility. My own parents especially my father would drop anything to help. I had to be careful not to ask too much or take him for granted. We lived away so no child care not even when in hospital at Christmas with the second DH coped alone.'I didn't ask mine as there had been a death in the family.
My parents would offer to have them at their house or ours for us to have a weekend break no such offers from the other half.
In fact, after my FIL died she tried to get my father to ferry her around, my mother put a stop to that.
His child his responsibility he has to cope and you have a life of your own with your OH. Make it plain would they change their plans for you? Probably not, care and kindness is a two-way thing.

How rude of him. I bet that took the shine off your day out. You did the right thing. Why couldn’t the child’s mother have taken time off work?