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Welcome to the *Gransnet Café. This is a non-judgemental space for you to pop in for a cuppa with some virtual friends, seek out advice for a particular problem, or share an update on your life - important or trivial. Feel free to have your say and chat about your day, but please leave any arguments at the door. If you're struggling to find someone to talk to in real life, or are simply looking for a bit of a chat, this is the place for you.

offering advice

(6 Posts)
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thomsnannie2 Wed 08-Feb-17 13:13:52

h the old chestnut. Only offer advice when asked. I am so concerned about my three year old grandson. My son and his wife have shared the childcare. The largest contribution being my sons. My son is SO over anxious that Thom should come to harm. At the very sign of boisterous play he warns to take care. Or even climbing on the sofa. This cute little three year old now "copies" rather than joins in at play groups. Standing on the outside, then mimicking the actions of other tots, in a slow and controlled manner. I dare not say anything as my sons reply is that he is just looking after his child. This lovely little boy is becoming more and more anxious.

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Charleygirl Wed 08-Feb-17 13:21:13

This is the 2nd thread on this subject.

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gillybob Wed 08-Feb-17 13:26:45

I know someone exactly the same thomsnannie2. My 3 grandchildren are extremely active and quite daring too. They sometimes meet up with a little boy who is a distant relative of theirs. His father is "Safety Joe" on steroids and its so sad to hear "J, don't do that, J get down, J don't climb, J don't..., J be careful etc". He cannot enjoy most things little children take for granted. I must stress that the little boy to whom I refer is a lovely child and is different when his father is not around but you can actually read the anxiety on his face when daddy is watching him.

I wonder if your son or the person I know had accidents when they were children which may have lead to this over protection?

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callgirl1 Wed 08-Feb-17 18:02:29

When my granddaughter was around 18 months old, they had a filled in bay with a very deep window ledge, and she used to climb up there and teeter on the edge. One day she was standing on the edge, wobbling away, and I gasped, my son-in-law said "Oh for f---`s sake woman, shut up, she`s alright!" So after that I just had to make myself keep quiet.

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M0nica Thu 09-Feb-17 07:08:41

I thought DS and DDiL were a bit too anxious and over-careful, but DGC are now 7 and 10 take absolutely no notice of parental worries and run and climb and do all the things that would have caused parental conniptions five years ago. Now I am the one saying 'careful'.

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Badenkate Thu 09-Feb-17 10:36:32

When eldest DGC was a toddler - and he's now nearly 15, taller than me, and loves outdoor activities - I can remember taking him out with DH along a country track when it had been raining, and saying to DH 'Why does he keep saying apple?' It took a long time, but I realised that was the closest he could get to saying 'Careful'. Not that it made any difference!

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