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Uncaring Careworkers/Support Workers

(72 Posts)
Primrose53 Thu 30-Mar-23 17:47:47

We had lunch in a pub today and we sat opposite a young man I guess in his 30s and a woman who was his support worker. It made me so sad because he was disabled but spoke very well and she just ignored him. The whole hour we were there she was on her phone chatting to friends (we heard her say she was working) or texting.

He kept talking to her and without taking her eyes off the phone just said “yeah, yeah” to him. He was telling her about a quiz night he was helping with and she showed no interest at all. She is getting paid to support him not ignore him. I never heard her say a complete sentence to him.

I know this goes on a lot because I reported 2 women once before. I knew a couple of the young people they were accompanying around a supermarket and I knew which day centre they were from. They were not talking to them very nicely at all, in fact, they were threatening them that if they didn’t hurry up they would make sure they didn’t get taken out again and they would take their cigarettes off them. When I got to the till and in front of other people they were putting on an act of being nice to them! I rang the Day Centre and told them and they said they would look into it but I don’t know if they did.

There are some people working with the disabled or people with learning difficulties who really just work for the money not because they care and it upsets me.

welbeck Thu 30-Mar-23 17:51:26

it's a job that anyone can walk into, so they do.
lowest wages but shortage of staff, so many don't care less unfortunately.

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 30-Mar-23 18:01:34

That's awful. I worked in the care sector for over 20 years and loved my job. I was very good at it, too, and managed to get recognition for doing good work.

It is a job that anyone can walk into - no experience required at most places, and there are lots of care agencies around. I know of at least 15 just where I live. A lot of people go into care work because that's the only type of work around, not because they actually care.

anna7 Thu 30-Mar-23 18:02:31

I have to say our experience with the care workers who look after my mil has been very positive. They are wonderful. They are the care workers provided by the council and they have gone above and beyond on caring for my very vulnerable mil who has dementia.

I can't say the same about the hospital social worker or the hospital staff who discharged her in a very poor condition and don't seem to care that a lady in her 90s was discharged with dehydration, bed sores and unable to walk or even talk. I could go on but the care workers came in their own time to look after her. Her discharge has been deemed unsafe and she is now in a home. The care workers are the only people who actually seemed to care.

Theexwife Thu 30-Mar-23 18:34:10

It is awful that some support workers are doing it just because it is the only job they could get rather than a desire to work in that field.

I would always report if I knew who employed them.

Grannynannywanny Thu 30-Mar-23 18:40:42

My friend is a care worker and while in a restaurant with a colleague supporting 2 ladies with learning disabilities they were approached by a diner from another table. She said she had been observing them during lunch and wanted to compliment them on their sensitive and kindly manner. They were just behaving as they normally do but that stranger’s comment made their day.

sodapop Thu 30-Mar-23 18:53:05

welbeck

it's a job that anyone can walk into, so they do.
lowest wages but shortage of staff, so many don't care less unfortunately.

Sadly I have to agree with welbeck The most vulnerable in our society are being cared for by the least able and trained.

Hithere Thu 30-Mar-23 19:22:43

To be fair, OP observed a moment in time that is part of the whole picture between carer and patient

Does it sound rude? Yes
Could be there more info that OP is unaware of and could provide context? Yes

Op assumed and could be jumping to conclusions
"I guess in his 30s and a woman who was his support worker. "

Primrose53 Thu 30-Mar-23 19:40:30

She was his support worker. I said in my post that she told one of her many phone friends that she was working, she also said that they were in a pub and that she was having soup today! As they left I stood back to let the young man pass safely and I heard her telling him they had better get a move on as she had another person to take out at 1.30.

Primrose53 Thu 30-Mar-23 19:44:16

Grannynannywanny

My friend is a care worker and while in a restaurant with a colleague supporting 2 ladies with learning disabilities they were approached by a diner from another table. She said she had been observing them during lunch and wanted to compliment them on their sensitive and kindly manner. They were just behaving as they normally do but that stranger’s comment made their day.

How lovely! I saw a group of about 6 learning disabled people out with 3 or 4 staff in a pub one day and they were all having a great time and all fully engaged. I was about to do the same when I realised I knew one of the support workers so just did a thumbs up and a smile but next time I saw her I did tell her how happy they all looked.

CanadianGran Thu 30-Mar-23 19:49:49

We have a residential home where several disabled adults live together in our neighbourhood. We see the adults out walking with their care workers often, so I do know that they get their exercise. I have noticed though, that lately the workers are all recent immigrants, and I do wonder about the level of communication, especially because some of the disabled adults do not speak very clearly.

I agree that the skill level seems to be on-the-job-training, and I do hope the level of care is up to standard or above.

Hithere Thu 30-Mar-23 20:04:50

What if this person is repeating the same info over and over again for hours?

What shall the carer do?

Grannynannywanny Thu 30-Mar-23 20:12:01

Hithere

What if this person is repeating the same info over and over again for hours?

What shall the carer do?

The carer is employed and paid to engage with him/her during the hours of support. This time shouldn’t involve chatting to friends on the phone.

Jaxjacky Thu 30-Mar-23 20:13:30

Which person Hithere, could you explain a bit more please?

SueDonim Thu 30-Mar-23 20:27:54

Hithere

What if this person is repeating the same info over and over again for hours?

What shall the carer do?

Listen and reply, even if it’s the same response as before? Or get a different job.

Galaxy Thu 30-Mar-23 20:37:22

Some of the children I work with have under 10 words Hithere I would expect anyone working with them to engage appropriately. I am thrilled when they say any word however repetitive. I am human so sometimes there are boring bits, I and thousands others like me dont get their phone out at those moments.

Jaxjacky Thu 30-Mar-23 20:37:28

Taking you mean the original OP Hithere you respond as you would anyone else who’d said they were organising a quiz. Ask questions about it, encourage them, it’s not that tricky, conversation will flow, even if it is repetitive.
Or, as SueD said, get another job.

Allsorts Thu 30-Mar-23 20:39:56

What an awful comment Hithere, good job there are lots of good carers that don’t share your views, that young person should be the carers focus for that hour. It makes me sad that lack of compassion is acceptable. It isn’t.How cruel to treat anyone like that. I am glad you reported her Primrose and I would be sure to be back in that pub at the same time next week, again report her if she does the same, these are extremely vulnerable people, it could happen to any of us in the blink of an eye.Bad things happen when people do nothing. If it were a member if your family isn’t tgat what you would want.

multicolourswapshop Thu 30-Mar-23 20:53:55

On a positive note I am one of the lucky ones getting care four times a day, and everyone is brilliant almost like family I do look forward to them coming in to my home with their different skills and personalities Not all are in it for the money they could be better paid elsewhere. My hat is off to their dedication . flowers

Hithere Thu 30-Mar-23 21:32:12

Allsorts
I didn't share my views, I asked questions - total different animal

Primrose53 Thu 30-Mar-23 22:01:09

multicolourswapshop

On a positive note I am one of the lucky ones getting care four times a day, and everyone is brilliant almost like family I do look forward to them coming in to my home with their different skills and personalities Not all are in it for the money they could be better paid elsewhere. My hat is off to their dedication . flowers

That’s great and I had a disabled friend who had excellent careworkers but if you have a learning disability it is much easier for people to take advantage of them. That’s why we often read of careworkers or support workers stealing money from them too.

annsixty Thu 30-Mar-23 22:29:11

I had care every morning for my H with Alzheimer’s.
They would come and shower and dress him for the day.
Most were wonderful, would engage with him and with me.
Although they were supposed to clean up after their visit some did most didn’t.
I would be left to cleanup the shower room ,put laundry in the bin, I appreciated what they did and was grateful.
A new one came, very young, very short in her job and then told me her sad story.
Children not supported by her ex partner, no petrol in her car to get to her next client etc etc.

I just asked the agency to never send her again.
Hard I know but I was paying for the service I received and didn’t expect to be supporting the staff.

jenpax Thu 30-Mar-23 22:59:31

annsixty

I had care every morning for my H with Alzheimer’s.
They would come and shower and dress him for the day.
Most were wonderful, would engage with him and with me.
Although they were supposed to clean up after their visit some did most didn’t.
I would be left to cleanup the shower room ,put laundry in the bin, I appreciated what they did and was grateful.
A new one came, very young, very short in her job and then told me her sad story.
Children not supported by her ex partner, no petrol in her car to get to her next client etc etc.

I just asked the agency to never send her again.
Hard I know but I was paying for the service I received and didn’t expect to be supporting the staff.

Wow!

Callistemon21 Thu 30-Mar-23 23:11:44

multicolourswapshop

On a positive note I am one of the lucky ones getting care four times a day, and everyone is brilliant almost like family I do look forward to them coming in to my home with their different skills and personalities Not all are in it for the money they could be better paid elsewhere. My hat is off to their dedication . flowers

I think most are caring and work hard (and are underpaid) multicolourswapshop, thank goodness yours are kind and dedicated.
A younger member of my family receives good care which enables her to live independently.

There will always be a few who are uncaring and treat it as just a job. Unfortunately, the pay does not reflect the excellent job most carers do.

annsixty Thu 30-Mar-23 23:12:51

Yes jenpax Wow,
I told the agency why I didn’t want her to come anymore,
No official reply but the best carer I had told me it wasn’t unknown.
Some join for what they can get out of it.