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Valentine's Day - funniest and least romantic gestures

(55 Posts)
LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 13-Feb-14 09:51:18

Yes, we know. Valentine's Day is commercialism at its worst and we have an Anti-Valentine's Day page of quotes to prove it. But, inspired by this earlier thread on excellent reasons to break up with someone (hairy nose, mummy's boy etc) we thought a thread dedicated to sharing the LEAST romantic gesture anyone has made (unintentionally or not) might be an alternative way of celebrating this 14th Feb.
Of course, if you're a fan of Valentine's Day then feel free to share your most romantic story too. Randomly selected posts will win either a romance novel (for most romantic) - or a crime novel (for least). Entries by end of play tomorrow Friday 14th Feb.

Oldgreymare Thu 13-Feb-14 10:01:06

I was invited out for a romantic meal, but only because his first choice refused ( they have now been married over 40 years!) I enjoyed the meal anyway knowing there would be no real romance*
*slap and tickle!

Riverwalk Thu 13-Feb-14 10:16:11

Before we were married my now ex sent me a postcard of a lovely smiling Chinese peasant girl with ruddy cheeks and hair blowing in the wind ....

he wrote..

"your face is like a cup of tea at the end of a long hard day"

gillybob Thu 13-Feb-14 10:28:15

My most embarassing romantic valentines day..............

Many years ago I was a young curly permed single mum working in a small engineering company. There were about 12 engineers. One valentines day I was working away (there was no Gransnet back then) when a delivery driver came into the front office. I was used to signing for all kinds of deliveries and barely looked up when he asked me to sign for something. Imagine my surprise when he placed a dozen of the best, most perfect roses I had ever seen on the trade counter? "Oh, they're for me" "Are you sure". "Well if you are called Gilly, then yes they are". Blimey. shock

There was a beautiful card attached and the message said "I think I love you, xx" blush

By this time all the lads were popping in and out of the office to look at the roses. All had ideas as to who sent them. "I bet it was Jimmy from packing" said one. "No, definitely Eric" said another "well it wasn't me , I don't even fancy you" said young Paul, and so it went on all day......and all week....and for many months to come. No-one admitted to sending the roses. No-one said anything. I began to wonder if I had been a victim of an expensive joke.

Until one day I was photocopying some papers and a very quiet engineer came into the office. He asked me how I was and what my plans were for the weekend. "Oh nothing much" I said . "I don't suppose you would like to go for a walk or something" he said........... and then it dawned on me. He was the only person who didn't join in with the banter when the roses were delivered. He didn't point the finger at anyone....

The rest is history. After one (very short) failed marriage and the sudden loss of my second husband, I had two small children and I had at last found the love of my life.............. flowers

Elegran Thu 13-Feb-14 10:38:24

Lovely, GillyBob.

But they do say that it is the quiet ones you have to watch . . .

gillybob Thu 13-Feb-14 10:40:08

Too right Elegran smile

Gorki Thu 13-Feb-14 10:46:43

What a lovely story ! Have you written your memoirs gillybob? You are having a very interesting life (despite your problems).Enjoy! smile

Stansgran Thu 13-Feb-14 11:01:22

That is lovely. I've gone quite tearful. You lucky woman.

LizG Thu 13-Feb-14 11:25:54

That was lovely gillybob thanks for sharing.

Valentine's Day comes just a week after our wedding anniversary so we do tend to remember it. On the end of our honeymoon we were driving back to Exeter via Exmouth to pop into my parents and OH said 'we can't stay too lomg' and that made me cross. Mid argument he squealed the car to a halt, told me to get out and look in the boot. I found a beautiful bouquet for Valentine's Day. Felt very ashamed and also wondered how he managed to organise that surprise given we had not been apart in those seven days.

NanKate Thu 13-Feb-14 12:10:57

My dear late Mum told me she had only received one Valentine's card when she was a young girl. She excitedly opened the envelope to see a large smiling gorilla !! hmm

She never found out who sent it.

gillybob Thu 13-Feb-14 12:52:30

Simply have to tell you all that ;

My son has just asked my husband if he would mind popping into Argos (on his way to get a sandwich) to pick up a Valentines gift he has reserved for his partner (and the mother of my three grandchildren).

My husband has just returned to work with....................

A pair of Boxing Gloves !!! shock

............and they say that romance is dead. grin

Elegran Thu 13-Feb-14 12:56:00

Has he ordered himself a helmet and gumshield too?

gillybob Thu 13-Feb-14 13:00:16

Oh she probably has them already Elegran she is fitness mad !

Happy valentines day darling...................... thump.......dead arm ........ ouch grin

felice Thu 13-Feb-14 14:20:02

DD and SIL are going to a very nice restaurant tomorrow evening, she was at the Pedeatrician this morning to get DGS his age two certificate for starting school and the doctor, a very nice German man commented that he could not think of anywhere to take his girlfriend, DD told him where they were going, he phoned the restaurant there and then, thanked DD and said I am sure we will see you there, she was too gobsmacked to say anything.

Agus Thu 13-Feb-14 14:40:40

Years ago DH and I went for a romantic valentine's dinner. At one point we were holding hands over the candlelit table when I realised the odd smell that had appeared was my jacket sleeve burning grin

kittylester Thu 13-Feb-14 14:53:19

My dad used to send all his four granddaughters lovely Valentines cards getting various other people to sign them. smile

Anne58 Thu 13-Feb-14 17:06:19

I hope Mr P will remember to re-send "the" card. Our first Valentine's day together he sent me a beautiful (and probably expensive) hand made card.

I told him I didn't want any other one, so each year he writes a new message in it.

Anne58 Thu 13-Feb-14 17:22:58

Ooops! Just realised that many of us have not exactly followed the brief in the OP! confused

(No wonder I cocked up yesterday!)

grannyactivist Fri 14-Feb-14 01:36:10

The most romantic valentine's story I know concerns me only in a supporting role. My cousin went out with a lad called Paul for three years in their teens and after pressure from her family she dumped him one January. He adored her and was bereft and so I went out with him a few times over the following weeks, just to cheer him up and listen to how she was the love of his life. I obviously did a good job of building his confidence and making him feel better because on Valentine's Day he sent me a dozen roses (unheard of extravagance in our circles) and that evening we agreed that he was over the worst and we went our separate ways. He totally believed that my cousin was his soul mate and they would eventually be together. A year later my cousin married a policeman.
But that's not the end of my story because two years ago, each with a failed marriage behind them, they met up again by accident and have been living together ever since. Aaah, don't you just love a happy ending? smile

Aka Fri 14-Feb-14 01:47:48

smile

mollie Fri 14-Feb-14 08:41:59

Well, after years of exchanging cards and nothing else I've just received a big (and I mean BIG) bouquet of red roses delivered to the door. I'm VERY surprised and a bit giggly now ... I hope all the neighbours saw!!!

Brendawymms Fri 14-Feb-14 08:52:37

Happy Valentines Day to all. May it bring your heats desire, well we can live in hope. grin

sunseeker Fri 14-Feb-14 09:34:32

When we were first married we were stoney broke - like many others. Our first Valentines Day together I wasn't really expecting anything but when he arrived home from work he was carrying a small bunch of flowers - not really special you might think - except that he had made up the bunch to match my wedding bouquet.

Lona Fri 14-Feb-14 10:20:59

First Valentine day with my first ex I'd asked him to send me a really slushy card, so he sent me one with a toilet on the front!

Elegran Fri 14-Feb-14 10:22:15

Brenda - sorry to lower the tone, but did I detect a Freudian slip in your post above? - heats desire . . . ?