Boris in Isolation-where is he? what will he do?

And Ellianne ???

trisher

Blast can't even do brackets properly

don't even have square brackets on this keyboard ;)

Do you really think he's going to stay in his room for 2 weeks? He could sneak down to Chequers after dark .?

Bof!!! Rishi on TV standing on a roof somewhere- missed my chance there!! Matt's doing the press conference- must watch I need a laugh.
Carrie says there's no chocolate biscuits and I'm dieting anyway, thnk she's changing from the girl I fell for!

I was beginning to feel the heat that Starmer chap was on my case no where to hide, where's the fridge? Having a little break now, self isolating, Where's dinner got to keep my strength up Get Brexit Done. Oh that was Dom's slogan I expect another one will just pop into my head I always think of something diversionary tactics you know that sort of thing.

What a day, the damn phone never stopped ringing.Hoping for chops for dinner tonight and have suggested same to Carrie.She says fine, and will I do some cous cous with them and some grilled tomatoes ( am not entirely sure that was a joke, so am slightly worried now.)
Anyway, time to sink back on the the sofa with an early glass of vino and watch Hancocks Half Hour, wonder if he will still be wearing that pink tie? The man needs a trip to Jermyn Street to see a good tailor....not that I should really do sartorial advice.
Was slightly bored about 4pm so looked at Tinder for a while.
Carrie burst in while I was absorbed and I shut my ipad up so quickly that my thumb got caught in it....jolly painful.
She wanted to know who had been ordering Peppa Pig pyjamas on Amazon.Honestly! Now her present is no longer a surprise.

It sounds so authentic lemon. Have you got the flat at 10 Downing Street bugged?

Lemongrove, I am reminded of the marvellous ‘Dear Bill’ letters in Private Eye !
I salute you.

Before "Dear Bill" there was "Mrs Wilson's diary"

I'm not a regular reader of private eye but I wonder whether Norma Major, Cherie Blair, Sarah Brown, Sam Cameron or Philip May have made a contribution?

I'm sure they would all have had some good stories to tell.

"Well, that was a painful briefing to watch, but not half as painful as this vaccine is going to be, I hate needles. Hope I don't have to pose for the cameras with my arm outstretched. Didn't that former prince turned celebrity take an AIDS test for the cameras once? (^for*Lucca*!^)
What the hell was pink tie man thinking calling Jono JVT? Sounded like a drink of some sort. Pour me a glass Carrie.
Then I heard something about placing our "bets". Ooer. Get me out of here as soon as possible. I need to say it as it is, in words of one syllable."

Carrie - please just for once put me first. That dog doesn't need your attention I do. I'm isolating and I'm told there's a so called humorous thread on a blinkin' social media site for grannies where even they're havin' a larf at my expense. It's beyond a joke.
Ok ok ok ok, I getit. You've the dog to walk, Wilfred to bath , change, feed and put to bed. Bottom of the pile as ever. I'm phoning out for a pizza and having another glass of whisky - supposed to be good for preventin' the virus returnin'.

lemon - please keep them coming, I'm sure you're on a hot line to number 11

"What I'm really really missing are those weekly visits to see her Maj. They were supposed to be the highlight of this tedious job. Carrie, switch on another episode of The Crown so I can get my fix."

Ellianne.if I were a sensitive soul I could feel you were picking on me. As it is I’ll have a glass of wine and congratulate self on keeping vow to ignore the Meghan mauling and harry hounding threads.

Keep em coming Lemongrove!

I'm being "lighthearted" Lucca, you should know that by now! It shows our versatility that we can laugh sometimes, with the occasional dig, as well as being serious.

PS good alliteration.

Well I’m not reading all those documents from Sage, far too boring. Where’s my handy guide to Latin phrase to impress the plebs ?
In flagrante delicto ? Oh maybe not
In vino veritas ? Er, no

Sounds rude.

Anyway I'm sipping my vino and relaxing, watching Strictly It takes 2 when Carrie comes in and asks what the hell I think I'm doing. "Checking out future job prospects" I joke. "If Balls can do it so can I" I don't mention the totty but she picks up on it anyway and tells me there's no way I'm subjecting us to the Strictly Curse. By the time I've convinced her I'm hers for ever the programme's finished. If it comes to it I'm doing Strictly and not that thing where they make you eat bugs. Too much lke boarding school and you don't even get a trip to Australia now. And then there is the totty.......

Ellianne

Sounds rude.

What does ?!

No worries Ellianne (as I have developed the habit of saying since having an Aussie citizen son!)

Nice one Trisher.

varian

It sounds so authentic lemon. Have you got the flat at 10 Downing Street bugged?

I have to be honest....yes.As I was an MI5 operative in a former life, I decided to nip up to London on one last job, I miss being in the field sometimes.
Posing as a Deliveroo driver, I gained access easily through the back door ( the security is really lax) I bounded upstairs to the PM’s flat.He was delighted to take the box of Pukka Pies off me ( I said they were from Michael Gove) and while he was ferreting about looking for a plate I managed to bug a lamp in the sitting room, the toaster in the kitchen, a bedside table in the bedroom and the bathroom cabinet.
By that time he’d found a plate and a knife and fork and was tucking in happily.Pausing only to collect a £2 tip from him, I
Raced down the stairs, onto my bike and was off!

Lemon sorry you now have to isolate for 14 days!

As long as lemon can still zoom in on here, that's fine.