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News reports I'd like to see...fun or serious

(9 Posts)
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vampirequeen Tue 26-Jan-21 08:05:27

I'd like to see honesty and serious questioning rather than accepting waffle and moving on.

Mr Johnson, there are xxxxx of cases diagnosed in England today and xxxxx deaths in the last 24 hours. What are you and your government going to do today to improve the situation?

Well, over the last year we’ve….waffle waffle…and regular meetings …..waffle waffle…..

Yes Mr Johnson but what actions will be taken today?

Well as I’ve just said…waffle waffle…reference to obscure ancient Greek war….waffle waffle…this government…waffle….people not following the rules.

Yes Mr Johnson but what actions will be taken today?

Well I’ll repeat myself

No please don’t do that Mr Johnson. What will be done today that will improve the situation?

Today vaccinations will be taking place all over the country.

Yes but that was put in place a while ago. What will be done today that will improve the situation?

Well erm…waffle waffle…things that have been in place for a while…meetings….under consideration….hope for the future…Dunkirk spirit…

So Mr Johnson nothing is to be implemented today which will improve the situation. What about tomorrow or next week? Are there any plans to improve the situation?

Well, erm…..erm….as I’ve said before and I’m not happy to have to keep repeating myself…waffle waffle ..obscure Greek legend…phrase in Latin….waffle

So Mr Johnson. Nothing is ready to be implemented. You have no idea do you Mr Johnson? The virus is running rampant and you’re relying on herd immunity and the weather warming up to curtail it?

Well..erm…actually….we’re chasing our tails…always one step behind…blaming the scientists, the public and anyone else we can whilst absolving ourselves of any blame…if I’m absolutely honest we have no idea what we’re doing.

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fourormore Tue 26-Jan-21 10:07:08

I would like the experts to answer - HONESTLY - "we don't have a crystal ball so we cannot give a date when school will reopen" etc. gringringrin
They could also add that they will stop faffing about with the 'education' 'advising' etc. when rule breakers are found - they know the rules and if they blatantly break them they should be dealt with!
Did you see how how the Dutch police dealt with their 'gathering' - water cannons - soon shifted them!

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Alegrias1 Tue 26-Jan-21 11:30:13

Welcome to the BBC News on 1st January 2025. Happy New Year.

The WHO report that for the third year running, the number of deaths worldwide from COVID is so small that they have been unable to measure it. They ascribe this good news to the scientific progress made both in vaccination and in treatments, and to the unprecedented international co-operation in addressing the biggest health challenge of our age.

Following her party's huge victory in last year’s general election, Prime Minister Tracy Brabin has confirmed that plans for the complete overhaul of the NHS, including vastly improved funding and support for those at the coal face, are now being implemented. Universal Basic Income is proving to be a huge success with no children reported to be living in poverty in the UK.

In foreign news, Scottish First Minister Kate Forbes has announced that preparations for the Scottish Independence Day celebrations on the 25 January are almost complete. This will be the first celebration of Independence Day since Scotland re-joined the EU last year. Ms Forbes expects to be joined at the celebrations by newly-elected USA President Kamala Harris and EU President Nicola Sturgeon.

Ah well, a girl can dream.

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Jane10 Tue 26-Jan-21 11:37:17

*Alegrias *- one woman's dream but my nightmare! I see you've given up on Sturgeon and are hoping Forbes has learned even a little bit about economics. grin

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Alegrias1 Tue 26-Jan-21 11:38:30

grin

Even if the Covid bit was true I'd be happy smile

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muse Tue 26-Jan-21 11:47:30

Thank you Vampirequeen . Brilliant. I will have this in my head when I next watch him talk (if I ever do again !).

I was listening to a headteacher talk last night pleading for some idea of what the gov plans are for opening schools. It will probably get dropped on them with a fortnight's notice. If they're lucky. Then a few days before they open, it'll be changed.

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olddudders Mon 29-Mar-21 10:35:48

"Pope elopes!"

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Dinahmo Mon 29-Mar-21 19:02:48

Johnson resigns over the latest sex claims.

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AmberSpyglass Mon 29-Mar-21 19:16:54

Alegrias1 That sounds like absolute heaven!

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