My very dear male BFF died suddenly and very unexpectedly on 01 June. It would have been his 60th birthday tomorrow and he was happily planning his 'bash' about which we chatted a couple of nights before he died. The funeral is to be held next Friday, in the village where he lived and grew up...he loved it so much.
I shall go of course, but I am a little nervous that I shall make a complete show of myself - I'm a bit emotional at the best of time,s but this has hit me really hard and because I live nearly 40 miles away and so rarely if ever saw his friends or family, I haven't had anyone who knew and loved him to grieve with and I'm scared that I'll just dissolve when I see everyone. I really don't want to be a sobbing mess in church but we had such a lovely special friendship for over 20 years, that I'm not sure how to get through the service.
I've had a lovely chat with his Mum on the phone and that was comforting for us both I think, however I shall be meeting most of his friends and family for the first time at his funeral and I want to hold myself together so that I can do his memory and our friendship, justice both in Church and afterwards.
Does anyone have any tips please? I can't have a stiff drink as I shall be driving there and back. I shall have some Rescue Remedy to hand but I need some helpful advice about managing my own grief when there are people there who have lost their son and brother, so I really need to keep my emotions in check out of respect for them.
Any thoughts and suggestions will be gratefully received.
Is it me or am I getting mixed messages
New house and a sloping garden