Hi all, I loved lockdown. Obviously I was sympathetic to what was going on, particularly those who were affected and who lost loved ones. Other than that I can honestly say I haven’t felt so happy for a long time. I have struggled the past few years with my mental health, low mood, anxiety and panic mainly but during lockdown, this all went away even though I was upset at not being able to see my DGS/D. My DH was home (unpaid) and my DS was home (furloughed). Now, however DH is back at work full time and DS is going back to his city job tomorrow and I’m distraught over this. All I can think about is that I’ll be on my own all day and I hate it. It causes me great anxiety.
I took early retirement 2 years ago and thought that was the right thing to do. Now, however, I wish I had a job, a purpose even. I’ve tried for various things but I’m suspecting my age is putting employers off (59). I’m also a bit restricted at to what I can do as I look after my DGS for two days per week. I’ve thought about volunteering but I can’t get excited about it TBH. I know a lot of people join clubs and things but I’m not really into that either. I’m just too dull and boring. I would really love to be one of these people who can be happy at home doing stuff but it just makes me feel sad. I just feel so lost and am dreading tomorrow when my DS goes back, my purpose will be gone ?
Awwww, he is so happy to see me…..