I've just had a phone call off my mother, who I only started talking back to a few weeks ago due to her failing health. During our conversation she told me that my brother had told her where I am now living, when I had explicitly told him not to, until I was ready to tell her myself. She also asked me about my dad, who she divorced over 12 years ago. She wanted to know where he was living and what was wrong with him as my sister had told her about him moving and his illness. It is nothing to do with her now about my dad but she put the voice on and said that she was worried about him. She isn't. She's spoke about him with such hatred in the past. He would be better off not having any contact now as he is getting to the point of getting upset and frustrated by things and incidents. I will ask him his opinion as it is up to him if he sees her again but I think he's better off out of it. My dad doesn't see my siblings neither, their choice. So I look after him.
I have wanted to trust my siblings again (they have let me down in the past, many times) as they keep saying that we should stick together after the awful childhood we all had. But how can I trust them when they are going behind my back and telling my mother my business and my dad's business? Both of us do not want her to know things anymore, or at least tell her ourselves what we want her to know. My mother gains information and then uses it against you.
I am going for LPA for my dad (dementia) and my siblings have to know this. I now don't know if my mother knows this too but she spent over 40 years hiding his money away when he tipped his wage up. It makes me very cautious where she is concerned and angry where they are concerned for now putting me back in a spot I got out of some time ago and felt all the better for. I don't want manipulative people in my life and she is. I will talk to her and even see her, but I wanted to keep my business to myself.
How do I handle my siblings in this case? They obviously are going to have to know a certain amount but how do I get them to stop telling her everything? I thought I could trust them, now I know I cannot.
Another silly little ABC game - shops we have loved and lost?
What is a reasonable minimum spend for an online grocery delivery??